Thirteen Rabbits

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
but since no one's celebrating this wonderful day...*grrrr*

*
first day of school and theres work
pui
i need to go memorize the structures/regions of the eye.
bloody hell.

i ate so much today
then again it is halloween..so maybe im just replacing sweets with... cereal and porridge and you tiao
(not fair trade? oh whateveR)
tmr i will not eat so much.
i WILL NOT. eat so much.

im a bad person
i don't really like talking to this person, so sometimes i kinda ignore her.
i am SO mean :(
but really cant stand her la. talks a lot or unimportant stuff, usually i also dunno what she talking about too. its mostly because i cant relate to the stuff she's talking about, so i don't reply.
:\ am i a bad person?

i also found out my Genopt grade is one of the lowest in class
wth! it isnt the loWEST, but it was PRETTY LOW
god im a freakin failure.

i got this link from thesneeze.com (as usual) and i think its really funny.
this is fat-pie, animations by David Firth.
(DAvid! see, people named David are so talented)
a creation of that site is salad fingers, which i find disturbingly amusing.
salad fingers is as psychotic as happytreefriends is all gore.
<-- salad fingers. he likes rusty spoons.

oh yes
happy deepavali.

i wish there was something i can do
well, actually there is. but this is the kind of thing i can only think of doing but can't bring myself to do. :S

mainly it is the communication breakdown due to the language barrier.
its one misunderstanding after another.
before you know it, both parties are so hot headed they start spouting irrational, irrelevant rubbish and everyone's unhappy.

i wish i could change that.

man stupid dreams. i wish they could be more pleasant instead

first i dreamt i wanted to cook an egg. i cracked it into a plastic bowl and put it over the stove.
then i realise im trying to cook an egg in a bowl, so i left the stove to get a pot
suddenly the flame starts to melt the knob on the stove. strange the flame was right next to the plastic knob. really weird. anyway i try to turn it off, but the knob's melted. i call to my sis for help, and as usual she takes her own sweet time to walk over instead of run even when im screaming hysterically.

in another dream,
i'd failed an exam or broke some law. i dunno. so did dad.
we were made to sit for this re-test of sorts. for some reason joshua's there too. lol. but he doesnt seem to know me. anyway we're only given half an hour to finish these 5 questions. just simple fill-in-the-blanks/MCQ type. then this man who's sorta invigilating walks over and says yes 1.62 is the answer' and walks off. i look at the options and there's no 1.62. in the last few seconds, i realise i've misinterpreted the questions and was gonna freakin fail. then the man, who's walked over to this guy, seems to argue about sth, and the guy yells ' must build the dam!' so i cant concentrate and start to panic.

and then i wake up, heart pounding.

school's starting soon :(
ive yet to start my first lecture this sem, but i think im gonna fail.
just looking at the module NAMES gives me the jitters.
shit im intimidated by mere words.
now thats half the battle lost

how am i gonna last the rest of the school year?!

makes me just wanna stay in my room forever.

stupid.
that's what society is.
the life we live.
its just stupid.
when did we start this ridiculous system that we have to earn money to survive

life should be simple. it should be look for food, don't get eaten.
know its buy food, don't loose you head in this rat race.

wonder if we've created a brighter future for ourselves or dug our own graves

even the crocodiles who've been here ages dont need money to survive.
its lifestyle hasnt changed much, if at all. the rules are still the same.
kill, don't get killed.

human advancement my ass.

wow so much rain
2 downpours in a day
how is it possible the sky hold so much water
missed the smell of rain.
nice.
the weather messed up the internet connection for awhile.
at least now its lost some of its strength and i can blog

it was cool enough for condensation to form on my window
Yes, CONDENSATION
and i didnt hesitate to write Jeph's and David's names on the glass
hee

earlier today
because of something-i-will-not-elaborate-on that happened
mum said 'i know you think im a horrible mother. i know what you say behind my back. i know you all don't like me'

those were her exact words (in mandarin, of course)

and they were shocking remarks. shocking, and saddening.

shocked that she would say all this in front of her daughters
saddening that this could possibly be what she thinks we feel and also a reflection of just how close she thinks our mother-daughter relationship is.

the truth is, i guess, this family doesnt show appreciation well enough.
it just wasnt something we did when we were young, so it never really took hold.
and we just take things for granted (or keep appreciation to ourselves)

and the next truth is we've never said anything bad about her.
we don't go 'she's a horrible mother' at least not in the way that statement is supposed to mean.

sure, ive ever said 'theyre horrible parents' for leaving us home to starve or almost running over my foot with the car or forgetting we're there etc, but obviously i don't mean theyre really horrible parents. i mean, obviously, right?

furthermore, how is it possible for a child to hate her mother? unless she's like cinderella-evil-stepmother-kinda-person. but considering we're an average (tho hardly normal) household, this isnt possible is it?

under the circumstances, she might have just said all that without meaning to
coupled with the fact that she is quite paranoid
i just can't tell for sure if she meant what she said
and it bothers me.

i havent been blogging as often, so this post will be about NUOO (national update for optometrists and opticians) that took place on monday

year 2 DOPT student sitting 2 or 3 rows behind us were damn annoying
specifically, only this group of guys were annoying
they were so immature and noisy. kept talking. passing comments about ppl they see
i heard them talking about me (yea its like even if im daydreaming, i'll snap back to reality cuz usually people only have bad things to say about me)
i was tempted to turn around, give them the finger/tell them to STFU, but surpressed that urge. *pats self on back. one small victory!

we were given this name tag (no one bothered to pin on)
'student delegate'
whoa sounds so nice eh.
mostly the student delegates just slept thru the whole thing

it was quite fun.
not ha-ha fun, but fun as in informative/interesting.
despite the fact that my ass had to endure a 9 hour sitting-marathon/torture
and bad lunch (milo+french fries from Mac cuz vegetarian stall wasnt open :( )

95% of the things the speakers had to say went right over my head
since i know zilch about the cornea, lenses and diseases.
not my fault. ive only finished one semester
invite me to this meet with optometrists and eye doctors talking about diseases and lasik, whats a year one student to do? nod my head and pretend i know what theyre talking about?

in some really old post i said my mum has this thinking that rice is compulsory.
u must have at least one meal a day that has rice/noodle.

im gonna add on to that
she also feels that meat is essential.

her less-than-right logic sometimes gets a bit annoying since im vegetarian AND on a diet.

she says our bad diet is making us forgetful, lethargic and all that crap.

i know she means well and all, but i just wish she would shut it cuz im fully aware of what i NEED in my diet.

i wish there was subway in sch instead of Mac

Go watch Simple Plan's New Vid "Crazy "

Click here!!!

hai.
no hope, no hope.

no hope of forgiving or forgetting.
no hope of letting go of this bitterness.

the only thing i can spread is bitterness and hate.

no hope, no hope.

think i need therapy?

yes!
finally 2 more ppl who think china is wasting money have spoken up.
i dont feel so alone anymore

damn man
wish my mum will stop making me eat.
she thinks rice is compulsory.

*

CNA forum ppl so serious.
not surprising. must all be adults.
so boring. and defend their opinions so fiercely.
i dun wanna post liao.
say ONE SENTENCE about China, and i get 2 PARAGRAPHS retort me.

ogk better eh.
people there not so fierce. at most get one para of retort.
lol.

*

went to m'sia yesterday.
rained like crazy.
and every street looks the same.
the place layout oso the same.
everything is the same.
don't know how people navigate.
but food, tissue, petrol all half price. :D

China's Shenzhou 6 blasts off into orbit
"There is no doubt that the space programme is of immense prestige to the communist party. Determined to become a serious space player, China set up a National Astronaut Training Centre in Beijing earlier this week. State media says this is only the third such facility in the world. In the next five years, China wants to set up its own orbiting space station, and in a decade it want to put men on the moon. "



From article: Confident China prepares for second manned foray into space
Still, the question posed by many, is why Beijing is pushing on with its space program at all. "The answer really lies in prestige first, direct economic and social applications second, and using the space program as a cutting-edge tool for technology third," said Harvey.

instead of looking to the skies, China should just concentrate on improving the people's lives

or even the environment.

and whatever they plan to do to help the people should be more direct than trying to psycho them.

HOHO

maybe the reason why im like so against Christians is
not only because theyre always 'bless you, and you and you and you...'
or 'God is this and this and this and that...'
but possibly, because they believe in god itself.

i mean
how can you put your faith in something you don' t have definite proof of?
so far everything ive ever heard about god has been just that. nothing but things ive been told.
you can't see god. can't feel. can't hear. can't smell.
why are they choosing to believe that something happens because it is god's will and not of some coincidence?

it doesnt make sense, does it.
blind faith. thats what it is.
and i believe that god they believe in is no more than figments of their imagination.
things they think of to reassure themselves that something greater and higher than themselves has a plan for them and they arent just here because they are just here.

so just as christians choose to believe there is a higher being out there, i choose to believe there is none. miracles are just freaks of nature or coincidences. and god is just something that puny humans have made up to console/reassure ourselves as we try to find meaning in life.

oh so technically its not my bdae anymore
but this year's i guess has been considerably better than previous years.

for one, more than 10 ppl wished me happy bdae
(yea, u can guess how it's like for other years)

(big thanks to all who remembered :) u guys made this year more bearable.)

and ice cream cake! been too long since the last time i had ice cream cake (Choc chip with oreos!)

oh hey.
im officially 17!
damn. thats old.

17.
with no guitar.
no david.
nothing to my name.

bleah.
oh well.
i'll be elated if i can just play bass.

cookies are brown.

yes, yes they are.
almost forgot.

they are also deliciously crunchy, smell great, rough, (expensive unless u bake them yourself), and very fattening

havent had cookies in a long time
musnt give in to temptation.
no no.

im not angry at the world
i just don't like the people living in it.

it just occurred to me

when i see something/somebody in love/expressing love or anything like that
i get this strange feeling
i wanna wish this person some ill fate

yes. it JUST occurred to me.

took long enough.
at first i thot i was just mad at people who were happy, in general.

or maybe
maybe i am mad at happy people.


hmm...
note to self: rmb to ask self what i feel when i see a happy person.
(googled image frm ylbissop.com/life/ system/files/DSCN1984.JPG)

so the straits times did an article on
that lady who's made this whole blogging with responsiblity shit such a big deal.

walao eh
tolonglah next time don't so busybody.
kena racists sit in jail, somemore fined oso.
hear racist comments also not first time liao
unacceptable but unavoidable behaviour mah

maybe if ive read those racist posts i'd feel differently, but too bad la. no chance liao.
however that article only made me want to (insert appropriate violent behaviour) that lady man.
see, she cant even tell her friends what she's done.
and her wise father, yes, very wise, was right to worry for her safety

and although my words will never result in actual actions
...
not the point la.

maybe when she dares to go public
somebody will do that to her
(look! 1st time u see video on my blog! Hee!)


(and that vid, which i kinda stole from jerome's site,
is bill gates getting a faceful of cream. uh...thanks and sorry, jerome? lol)

(kinda feel sorry for that guy. lol)

and right on cue, here comes the kiasu-save-my-ass-disclaimer:
the contents of this post are not meant as a threat or warning of any sort to THE (busybody) LADY, whoever she is. also, the contents may have been exaggerated for dramatic effects.
which, i might add, i've already tuned down. because im really not that melodramatic.

PS
i am also not trying to say i support racists and racist comments. yea. so before u wanna bug me, just know that im gonna deny everything.

and its really getting on my nerves, how im trying to make sure i won't get slapped with some lawsuit for posting this. well, not just this post...but all my posts in general. damn.

so what's the deal with Christians going all
"Lord forgive him for he knows not how he has sinned."

is this like, some stunt to prove one's whatstheword... magnanimity ?

save yourself first den save others la!

why do girls exaggerate their reactions so?
small matter they act like they just received news that someone has died (or worse)

and why are some guys so confident
that they act like they are God's Gift to Women
even tho, looks-wise, they are only average?

guys should get their damn bloated heads outta the clouds.
meanwhile,
girls should come with this dial to tone down their reactions.

the previous one was too colorful for me.
2 colors is enough,
(one, if you don't consider black/white to be color.)

i tried to live with pink
lasted one day.

so
i present GREEN!

may be a tad TOO green
i did try to make it less bright tho
:\

if life could be reset.

if i was born knowing the things i know now.

im so sick of hearts and stars
im so sick of people who think cool is about fashion.
im so sick of people who think wearing expensive clothes makes them cool.
im so sick of bullshit "punk princesses" who, just like those who think cool is a fashion sense, have no idea what punk really is.
im sick of people who say theyre angry. theyre depressed. they hate the world. the world is so confusing. so cruel. im sick of people complaining life sucks. im sick of people who do all that and yet fill their notebooks with pink hearts and stars, or, they parade their so called suffering, looking for sympathy.

posers.

2posts ago i said i was a terrible kid.
and here's why.

i've been snapping at my parents all week

don't know if its just me, or whether the questions theyve been asking have just become more annoying.

maybe its just me.

and i know they don't deserve this
which just makes me more frustrated that i can't control my temper. or my mouth.

ah
im a horrible kid.
:(

lately ive been having that dreadful
i-have-much-to-say-but-when-i-want-to-blog-i-just-type-"aijgkajdngaouijrdgsrth"
syndrome.

i either dun blog at all, or my posts are short. like one sentence short.

nevertheless, i think i'll give blogging a shot today.

i was reading thesneeze.com
the latest post being Steve, Don't Eat It! - Silkworm Pupas
hah u just gotta love the guy for providing such great pictures and also for the detailed narration.

that butterfly pic looks so familiar...

man im a terrible kid