Thirteen Rabbits

today i..

stood in the same spot for 5 minutes, thinking.
wrote a poem that didnt rhyme.
found a sharp object.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

it just occurred to me how stupid it was that we had to stand up and greet the teacher as a class before lesson could begin. they should make it like whoever wants to greet the teacher just say 'hi' or something when he/she walks into class.

eh. why didnt i think of eating cereal ah?damn
finished dinner part 3. 3 crackers. part 2 was the same thing 3 hours ago. part 1 was the hash browns
maybe i shld keep a record of the things i eat.
ok packet of pasta in the morning, skipped lunch, hash browns and 6 crackers.

its not like i don't want to eat. its just no one buy me food :( and im the kind of person who's so lazy i'd rather not eat / eat junk food than go downstairs buy sth decent.
today i was so lazy, i didnt tell them to buy food. see.. they never ask. (asking is very important. so if anyone wants to know something from me they'd better ask. i don't volunteer answers even if its important. unless i want to of course.)

i think the hunger's affecting my head.

i have just finished my wonderful dinner of 2 hash browns
the food i eat... -_-

i am bored
so i feel like going on a meaningless rant against god.
ya. boredom - rant against god.
after dinner finger exercise.

don't know whats wrong with me. i don't even remember why it was i defected.

lets see. went to a catholic primary school. at that time, god was ok. put me in a place with crazy-ass teachers who liked to terrify students, put me in a class with 40 devils. after 6 years i made less than a handful of friends. 5 out of 240 kids. (40/class*6years of sch). thats like 2%. fair enough i guess.
thats not the point horh. ok la. in that catholic school i actually prayed sial. so holy. (pui pui) but the chapel was a nice (dark and empty) place few other kids went to so i actually liked it. seemed to be the only part of school i could feel at ease in since i was such a wreck as a kid.

how much of a wreck? haha its silly. i used to worry that i wouldnt be able to fall asleep at night. then i'd feel tired in school and then god knows what will happen then. *shrugs* and that made me worry more. so EVEN MORE SO, i couldnt fall sleep. vicious cycle horh. *shudder*. another thing was, as a kid, i was always feeling so...scared? yea. when i was alone. and i always seemed to be alone :( . i was afraid of people. (dont get confused. i was alone not because i was afraid of people. its the other way around. got difference) so, fear of my peers and adults.. u know how long i felt like that? what a horrible feeling. and before anyone thinks i was antisocial as a child, teacher wrote in my report book that i was a 'cheerful' girl ok? HAHAHAHAHAHA eh, i digress.

and then went on to secondary school. some ahbeng school. quite havoc, that place.
i still called myself 'christian' after i left primary school. but sometime between then and now i stopped. wonder why. those ppl at gb failed miserably. HAHA or maybe they portrayed such a fake portrait of what christianity is i just got disgusted. OR maybe it wasnt fake, thats just how they are. (am i overanalysing?) either way its so pretentious.

now, i cant stand the constraints that having a religion brings.
hell, i cant even stand society and its stupid you-have-to-look-like-this-or-else bullshit.

ok i dun wanna rant against god already. lets rant against society instead.

bloody hell! stupid judgemental people and fucking 'images' we need to conform to.
technically we don't need to live by society's rules, but there are consequences.
in fact there are consequences just living on the fringes

people looking at me like im some kind of weirdo or another stupid emo teenager
but i know they are just as weird if not weirder. and they have issues too
we all have some kind of borderline psychosis anyway. for some of us that border is abit more smudged, thats all.

knowing all that, it still pisses me off. why humans make life so difficult for themselves by making these stupid unstated but by no means nonexistant rules to live by.

i guess im just angry i cant break free from that.

Ni`Ya says:
hey
Ni`Ya says:
say watermelons backwards
Ni`Ya says:
snolemretaw
Ni`Ya says:
hahahaahahahaa
Exclusion says:
sno-lem-re-taw
Ni`Ya says:
sounds like snow em, retard
Ni`Ya says:
eh you know what watermelons sound like
Exclusion says:
what
Ni`Ya says:
sounds like gree-dy-ja-cob
Exclusion says:
fuck you
Exclusion says:
hahahah
Ni`Ya says:
HAHAHHAHA

*
since i went to the trouble to make a "joke", i thought it'd be a waste not to post it here :D

i figured if i had to insert a pic of hitsugi every time i post i'd need a lot a lot of pictures of him.
so i replaced toshiya. ooooooops
hahahahahaa nvm.
toshiya's bass playing still kicks ass.

Exclusion says:
wah i hope got watermelons tonight
Ni`Ya says:
..
Ni`Ya says:
wow hte first word i saw was watermelons
Ni`Ya says:
and then tonight
Ni`Ya says:
and then wah
Ni`Ya says:
and then i hope got
Ni`Ya says:
HAHAHAAHAHAHA u know what images just flashed thru my mind anot
Exclusion says:
hahahahahahahahahha you fucking perv
Ni`Ya says:
what la u know what i thinking meh?!!
Exclusion says:
what
Ni`Ya says:
one big halved watermelon (red one) and then i saw the moon (like it was lantern festival) and then i saw your greedy face
Ni`Ya says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Exclusion says:
cb
Exclusion says:
wassup wit you????!!!

check out that hair
would you believe me if i said im hesitant to blog because it will push hitsugi down
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

jac called me 'bonnie-chan'
bonnie-chan. stolen from Bleach. ITS THE NAME OF A FREAKIN BOAR the rukongai 'biker gang' leader rides around on. so technically theyre a 'boar gang'.
-_-

i always say i need to practise bass right. it seems jac also got something to practise
i quote, 'i need to practise my gamma ray' she really means she needs to study her notes on the gamma ray machine thingy they have, used at woodlands checkpoint to xray trucks HAHAHAHA jac become gamma-ray girl already. she emits deadly gamma rays from her hands! Beware!

last time i said my fingers start twitching when im 'sleeping' on the train, 'dreaming' of playing a song, and have my arms folded.
so i tried not folding my arms. just have them in front of me, hands clasped.
you know what? doesnt help.

sian ahhhhh
jac not letting me play bass cuz she needs to sleep (night shift) daaaaaaaaaaammit

where is everybody huh? studying?
hai i have been slacking the whole day
i see hitsugi has migrated again. wonder if i have any more pix...
ah! here we go~

almost the same pose as toshiya ah hahaha

***
of late, ive been getting mean thoughts in my head that make me laugh out loud
(note: lol =/= rofl that kind of laughter)
im mean.
at least i don't say what im thinking right. unlike some. who feel its their obligation to make their criticisms known to the world.
no one will think you are dumb if you just shut up.

oh yea. its sunday. sunday = reruns of 7th heaven on channel five.
today its a racial shit episode. somebody vandalises on the girl's husband's car and everyones like ooommmmmgggggggghowcananyonedothat!notinthisicommunity!thisissoshocking/sadohgodsaveus!
whew. what a mouthful.
HONESTLY who on earth is so righteousandwhatshit to react the way they do.
(insert sweeping statement against christians here)

^ i censored myself sial (in my own blog. whats the world coming to). because i very nice. anyway if i really said that somebody is gonna kick up a big fuss. 面倒くさい~

woke up suddenly and looked at my left hand
HUNDREDS of ants were crawling all over it.
hmm, ants, i thought.
then went back to sleep.
just as my head touched the pillow i realised
WAIT WTF ANTS?!?
why are there ants on my hand? my bed? ?!?!?!...
lay still for a moment trying to feel if any ants were crawling around
thats impossible. its supposed to be dark how am i even supposed to see them?
took another look at my hand and saw that it was ant free.
went back to sleep.
-_-

siala im still so sharp while SLEEPING
thats what i call critical reasoning skills man. not the rubbish we learnt in year 1.
とにかく, that was a stupid dream.

feels like im gonna develop some kind of ABV disorder if i study some more.
so to give my eyes a break,

look at something pleasant
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

nice cat ah

he he

okkkkkkk
i am going to stop trying to set the record straight because it's hopeless.
humans are beyond hope.
now i am going to keep my mouth shut.

wooooooooooooooooooooooootttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!
112!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
good episode. cant wait for next week

*

diru's VULGAR is a good album. :D:D

aint afraid to die is so beautifully sad it makes you want to kill yourself.

HAHAHAHAHA
anyway it seems ben has posted more YUI pics.
makes me miss hitsugi, whose pic has migrated to somewhere lower on the page.
:(

*scrolls down*

went to IKEA for lunch. so big so roomy so niceeeeeeee
they selling those green snakes @ $1.90 man. UP $7.90 hahahha wth
jac bought one... she say 'so nice~!' and wouldnt stop hugging it.
we had gone there planning to just buy hotdogs.
but ended up eating spaghetti & meatballs at the cafe + hotdog + ice cream HAHAHAHA
IKEA really make us waste money.

some people are so weird
"i hate you haha"
wassup with that man
if u hate something/someone why you laugh in the end
act cute ah? wth?
if u don't hate it then don't use the word hate
sheesh

studying clfit means
always typo-ing WTR as WTF.

toshiya drops the mike lol

wa prod and ben both blog about who theyre stalking (or hoping to stalk)
i also want to blog.
but i got no target. either that or too many cannot decide. how?
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

hm hm hm hmh mh hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
k after much deliberation,
if i had to choose, i'd stalk hitsugi. because he's soooo kawaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. just like how erica is kawaii to prod. i agree erica is kawaii. but she not my type. AHHAHAAHHAHAHAHA.
k back to hitsugi.


so cute! im sure everyone wants to stalk him. HAHAHAHAHA check out those eyes

don't have many pics tho. only 6.
3 of which are from the snake photoshoot. HAHAHAHAHAH
and if anyone feels a strong desire to say something nasty, please do. its not like i will stitch up your mouth and chop off your fingers or anything (i will think of it tho). everyone is entitled to have an opinion afterall. but you know these things are very subjective. a word of advice? don't say anything stupid.

cheers!


*

in other news,
weather super cold now. brrrrrrr

spent the afternoon shifting the computer to another table.
shifting the old table away. this and that.
good thing is im happy with the layout now.
bad thing? hardly revised.

i was hungry.
no one was coming home anytime soon to bring me dinner
and i was too lazy to go down buy some food.
oh and i din want to eat instant noodles.
which left me no choice

i had nutella oat for dinner
wth that means?
that means i added nutella to a bowl of oats.
usually i add that sweetened evaporated milk you add to tea and such, but dammit i ran out of that and forgot to stock up. (not that i have money to do that...)

oat doesnt taste very nice plain.

nutella was in the fridge. next to the peanut butter.
maybe next time i will try peanut butter oat.

i always make a mess out of cooking oat.
because im lazy to cook it in a pot (one serving only, too much trouble to wash up)
so i just chuck oat + water in the microwave.
it says so on the packet anyway. can microwave one.
they din tell me the damn oat will freakin EXPAND AND BUBBLE over. and out of the bowl.
maybe the second part of the cooking instructions got say la... but i never ever finish reading instructions...until its too late :\

in case anyone was wondering, Home Econs in lower sec was ok. nothing disastrous. in fact the food turned out quite yummy. how to go wrong with the teacher there? anyway i don't think i did the cooking tho. my partner was afraid of cutting stuff, so i did all the chopping. i was actually quite good at it lei. chopping things up. HAHAHAHAHAHAH oh and also at washing up. when the pots got burnt black the teacher asked me to scrub it off. because the other girls were too pathetically weak to do it ..because im nice..and my home-ec teacher was also my CCA's teacher in charge so she knew me better. aiyah bullshit la. i suay la, have to be clean up their mess.
i think i should consider becoming a full time psychopath/serialkillerwholikestocutupbodies or be one of those guys who clean up the murder scene after the police are done processing it and all. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA but obviously cannot stay in singapore to do that.
number one, if i murdered someone, sure kena caught. bloody island got no place to hide.
number two, too few messy crimes to clean up. one company more than enough. no place for competition.HAHAAAHA

eh, got distracted.
back to nutella oat.

i also threw in a fistful of walnuts. which i conveniently crushed in my hand HAHAHAHA sounds so barbaric.

nutella is hazelnut spread.
the end result of mixing nutella with oat?
something not exactly oat. not exactly nutella.
it wasnt awful, but it wasnt delicious either.
the walnuts tasted like hazelnuts, so that made things even more confusing.

maybe i shldve gone with peanut butter.

hope i don't get food poisoning or something
cuz anything that needs to be cooked... tends to become .. unfit for human consumption if im the one doing the 'cooking'
these hands are jinxed.
(even mum agrees. she didnt say jinxed, but she said why everything u touch come out so awful oneee????!
..or something like that.
(lee has one of the funniest sad faces ever)
its only in the past year that i managed to make TEA that she says is passable and not just... not nice to drink. HELL, TEA DOESNT EVEN NEED TO BE COOKED!)

why why whyyyyyyyy the stuff mum cooks turn out so good u'd ask for seconds.
even Jac doesnt do that badly. hers still quite nice. :( only mine can potentially kill you! (or me, since im the only one who'll eat my own cooking. call it foolishness or bravery!)
im the black sheep of the family AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

im always eating something unhealthy/weird.

stupid torrent going so slowly
average dl: 0.5kb/s wtfffffffffffff
file size: 250MB
ETA: something like 5 days.
so what, i leave the comp on day and night for 5 days????

today so suay
had to be rgp patient
u people so lucky got me. my cornea so good. super desensitized already.
(me on the other hand so suay got maybe as rgp px. some kind of shitty fitting. never see before one. tight lid + loose lens?)

always thought i very lucky.
i shld know better. the more i think something won't happen, it does.
when dr koh called me in i thought walao wth first one meh?
and then she said you gonna be px
shit. sian ah~~~
and then i saw the rgp cases.
fuck.

so anyway they shldnt have chosen me to be px. my drainage so good
each student was using 2 strips on my eye. at least 3 or them were doing that la. NaFl so expensive. think they wasted a few dollars already. but they so rich anyway

heard from jacob that anna yeo got spooked by a lizard while reaching for saline bottle. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
wish i was there. to see naga run over also. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH

oh i forgot to take some alcohol swabs.
wasted. don't think got chance to go clinic anymore right, this semester.
nvm i have 6 left. can last till the next time go.

instant noodles got a lot of flavours
the one very popular flavor all brands have is chicken
WHY NONE OF THEM REALLY TASTE LIKE CHICKEN
IN THE FIRST PLACE, CHICKEN ON ITS OWN IS QUITE TASTELESS!
?!?!?!?!!?!?!

nice song?


this is just disturbing. even by my standards

wa shiok
midnight bass playing is fun
very very fun
the temperature is just right
and there is no noise, no traffic

i am very happy :D

why? cuz this video's kinda kooky. and it sounds so punk.


why? because i like that bit of drumming. song sounds kinda sad tho.


why? cuz i like looking at toshi. oh and the drummer doesnt look so girly anymore.

why do i get the feeling someone's gonna tell me to get back on the right path before its too late?
hmhm

*

friends are a real troublesome bunch of people
just by knowing them creates trouble. not cuz of the things they do. but the very fact that they're friends.

hmmm lets see lets see lets see lets seeeee.................

thank you
for giving me
another reason
to reinforce
these
walls.

i will make sure
i complete the circle
this time.

this is one of the the funniest kakashi images ever. in a retarded kinda way.

conclusion:
a big source of trouble is people. when they start yakking away. nonstop. irritating.
on the train. in class. in the corridors. everywhere.
doesnt anyone understand or appreciate the beauty of SHUTTING UP?

saying things that shouldnt be said. words that sting. hurt. bring people down.
and all for what?
5 seconds of laughter.

why do people have such a huge need to be heard?
(note: to want to be acknowledged of one's existence =/= to be heard)
but there are other ways to be heard without actually being heard. like blogging. at least i give people a choice whether they want to know what i have to say. but people who cant stop talking? THEY CANT STOP TALKING! so whether or not you want to hear it (usually you dont cuz they never have anything nice to say) YOU HAVE NO CHOICE

people like that need surgeons to sew their lips together. yes thats a good solution. i think it would look kinda cool too. the stitches and everything
in fact i think it would look better if just any psycho did the stitching la. cuz surgeons always stitch things up so nice and neat. a psycho would mess it up and all. so yea. would look better.

actually this isnt messy enough. but will do. (stumbled upon on dA)

only problem with that would be how to eat la. but people who deserve to have their mouth sewn up... the world would probably be a better place without them anyway.



*

speaking of which
i think im gonna have some trouble in clinic. not just the clinical stuff, but also the talking to patient bit.
shit man. i knew this was gonna happen when i chose this course.
back then i was thinking if i put myself in a situation where i have no choice, then i'd have to change.
pffft. fact is now i talk even less than when i was 16.
doesnt help that i generally do not have an interest in helping people. especially strangers. helping my friends is as far as i'd go, but even that (i shamelessly admit) i find troublesome. rarely do i actually help someone because i genuinely want to.
what to doooooooo

was reading blogs again
why i bother
it always makes me feel like i have no emotions.
well, except displeasure la. but thats always there so maybe it doesnt count.

i swear some guys are more emotional than me. :S

ooh finger doesnt hurt anymore

i am bored. want to play bass but finger pain. why why why why why????? i skipped class to play bass one~ wasted.

so what to do?
write stuff in mirror image, from right to left.

used to do that all the time in sec 2 or 3.
tried again just now
and realised
i can write cursive.
in mirror image.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

BLEACH EPISODE 111!!!!!!!
ichigo's father surprisingly cool ah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

oh god
ultimate hunger
forced to leave my very cozy bed in my very comfy airconditioned room to make lunch.
need to study but im so tired
eating another bowl of instant noodles with lots of mushrooms
hopefully i don't get food poisoning or anything

why i don't stay away from mushrooms
evil mushrooms that look so innocent
....
k this is hopeless. im reduced to talking about evil mushrooms?
i declare myself officially tooooo tired to study.
isnt there a pill i could take to make me un-sleepy?

people. people. people.
people = trouble. always

sometimes i have so many things i want to say but no one to tell them to
sometimes i don't feel like saying anything at all and still no one's around.
which isnt surprising
no one was really here from the start.
ive gotten used to it by now. i should.
talking is so awkward anyway.

i wonder whyyyyyyy and howwwwwwwwww we can be so different yet so alike at the same time.

i wonder if this was inherited or sometime in my childhood something really fucked me up
either way it sucks.

maybe it just means i won't live long. thats fine
but for that one thing thats inherent in this life
perhaps i should just accept it?

*

i guess the less i care about something the more free i am.
wonderful.
my posts are not getting emo-er.
im only not restraining myself as much.
i just don't care that much what people will think of me

cuz nothing -and no one- really matters now.

i don't feel like trying anymore

wa shiok
first thing i saw the moment i woke up was kakashi. kakashi being lazy and getting his dogs to do his job while he reads jiraiya's book.
hahahahaha
naruto episode 216! waited so long for the subs. not bad. got gaara too! hahaha he's so cute cuz he never smiles and everyone's afraid of him.

it used to be
i would refrain from saying something bad about someone because it was a mean thing to do
now,
the only reason i keep my mouth shut is.. laziness. hahahahahaaa

*
you know someone made an online Deathnote?
its kinda cool. can 'write' someone's name in there. even though that person won't die.
and the stuff people write in there is damn funny la. not the lame ones. the ones where the writer is truly cursing the person, those are funny. hahahahahaa

maybe pasta makes u play better
or maybe for once im not hungry
maybe im just extra jumpy today.
MAYBE ITS THE MAGIC MUSHROOMS!!!!!!!! or maybe its just the new strings (very smooth! :D).
but i managed to keep up with scarified

learning new song. diru song la. faster than Yokan and Cage.
bad news. i shld be revising, not spending time on this!)
don't know if its called luck, but the songs i choose always happen to be faster than the previous ones.
lucky cuz its a step increment in tempo.
unlucky ... for the same reason.
maybe the next one i'll learn will be embryo. slow but sounds nice with the slides.

hmmm the smell of dried shiitake mushroomss......
i like them so much im adding a whole bowl of mushrooms to my packet of pasta later.
yea i know, im scary that way.

hahaha that was something no one needed to know
best not to think about school now that im finally not moody.

the thing about my hoodie is it traps water
it takes forever to dry when i wash it
all the water just collects at um, the lowest point but doesnt evaporate. if i hung it upside down whatever water's left in there will flow down and refuse to evaporate still.
its like a bloody water bag.

doesnt help with the weather. even the other clothes arent drying. hang like 2 days already. wth.

*

my brain has been through some tough exercises lately.
my brain and heart very closely connected. if my brain has to work hard, my heart also works hard. (ie my blood pressure jumps when i have to think. specifically, i was trying to figure out binovi)
i have never thought as hard as i have these couple of days.

i really do not like to use my brain.
well, maybe using it for 1 minute is ok. more than that strains my heart :(
and that puts me in a bad mood.

so thats why ive been so emo lately.
part of the reason anyway.

another contributing factor to me being so irritable recently is the fact that
its so fucking difficult to get answers from classmates
i swear dopt classmates are fucking useless.
fucking questions about bloody prisms. stupid binovi.
most people don't like to be bothered with questions, some are always busy, some are plain scary, some don't know shit so they cant help you, while the rest have fallen off the face of the earth.

i think the stress of being in year 2 has decreased my lifespan by like 5 months.
stupid course.

and damn lecturers. i like them less and less. don't know if its cuz of the module theyre teaching or i just don't like them.

ONE MORE THING
some ppl........................................................................................... think im oblivious.

i dont need anger management
don't think psychologist.
think drugs.

fuck it i don't care what you label me. however don't care doesnt mean don't mind.
i do mind. i mind a lot. still, that doesnt mean anything. until the day i snap.
don't piss me off now. unlikely i will do anything, but these are unpredictable days.

here is sth i doodled in cl complications. i call it 'die'.


binovi is a fucking pain in the ass.
and my parents. like i dont have problems of my own.
fucked up. everything is fucked up. even the computer.
stupid life. stupid school. stupid people.

i don't like girls. they are very irritating. maybe cuz they laugh so much. and talk so much. and they just come across as acting cute. whether or not they are aware of it.

i don't like guys because they are very irritating. maybe cuz they laugh so much. BUT they definitely talk too much. and the things they say are meaner than what girls say, so thats like twice as bad.
sometimes they act cute, most of the time they act like assholes though.
and they think thats funny.

don't know whats going on in people's heads. male or female, young or old, i don't get them.
sometimes i think im on a different planet. sometimes i think im from another planet. honestly how did humans become the dominant species on earth anyway? they're like the stupidest animals ever.
ok, maybe not stupid as in dumb, but stupid as in theyre so goddamn confused about everything and theyve got everything wrong. its a miracle how we got here.

but i digress.
people talk too much. im not saying communication is bad.
it doesnt have to be done verbally though. its all that talking thats really annoying.

i suppose if people spoke in a language i didnt understand it would be better. it would probably sound like ducks quacking or something. thats fine.
its when people speak in english, mandarin, or worse, singlish, that it gets annoying. english/mandarin means i overhear things im not interested to know and i cant shut out their voices. knowing that language also means it becomes a distraction.
singlish is the worst. its plain torture to my ears.
i speak singlish of course. but there are different types of singlish.
there's mild and moderate singlish (doesnt sound that bad), then theres the horrible uncouth-sounding caveman shit that comes out of some people's mouths.
hearing someone speak hardcore singlish is like listening to a certain someone try to act cool by swearing in every sentence.

life is a joke.
an unfunny joke with death as the punchline.

i hate how i have to continue doing things i don't want to
how i seem to get angrier over the years
how i feel people dont understand. then change my mind about it the next second.
how names keep dropping off my list of 'people i like'. which is sad really, cuz that means i used to like them. and then one day i didnt anymore. does that mean the more i know someone the more i don't like them?
how the 'people i dislike' list keeps getting longer as i meet more people
how society has made life such a struggle when life itself has not changed since the beginning of time.
how there are never answers to the questions i ask. and so i keep asking. and it tires me out.


i wish this joke would end.
but just wanting something really badly won't make it come true.

i think this is my third packet of instant noodles in a week. 3 a week isnt that bad, right?
and guess what
i havent spent a single cent this week.
its only wednesday tho. don't know how the rest of the week will be.
or the rest of the term.
or the next 6 months.

pasir ris is a nice place to live in. but it sucks that school's so far away.
stupid man on the train who took up so much space
knn must elbow me. his other side so much space somemore. faggot.

was blog hopping. halfway thru i got bored again. wasnt interested in other people. some people like to thank god in their posts somemore. thats not just uninteresting, that just irks me. like allergy to panadol not enough, i have to be allergic to god also.

seen the youtube vid i posted earlier today? thats funny. filing prayers that are never answered, and missing the earthquake epicenter by 10km or sth. hahahaha ohoh and the cure for the girl's illness. bummer man. hahahahahahaa

was depressed just now and couldnt concentrate on patho
so i thought i might as well go white sands with jac find food to cure my depression
bought the pancake burger from water rise. just cuz i felt like eating pancakes.
and sat on the bench at the pathetic excuse of a park to eat them. so shiok. it was drizzling too. and there was a nice cool breeze.
not depressed anymore.

Jac: there's no such thing!
Me: you know everytime u say that a fairy dies
Jac: (exclaims)there's no such things as fairies! ....(hushed) only wizards......
Jac: and then there are boy wizards and girl wizards!!!
Me: arent they called witches?
Jac: OH YA! I FORGOT! HAHAHAHA i only remember 'you're a wizard, harry'

wa so depressing
because its so depressing i play extra hard on bass
and then after that my left hand gets weak because the action's so high
then it gets troublesome to write since im left handed
and because its so depressing
all i can think about while playing is school
and that makes me suddenly forget what im supposed to play next so i mess up the whole song
at the same time because its so depressing i keep thinking of the jar of nutella i just bought

very happy :D
bought new strings yayyyy
ahiny shiny shinyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

k time to go sleep

Yokan - Dir en grey

that looks like the same bass Niya used in Akane~~~~~~~
dunno how he plays that bit of bass at the end of the solo with a pick.
and the drummer is a guy.

Garden - Dir en grey

my new happy song, i said. very old. from their first EP. sounds different from the mp3 tho.

hai
i am having my dinner now. cup of milo.
i am so poor. (ya im gonna stress that until i actually acquire the things i want/need)
hahahahahhahahahahaha

anyway
because i don't feeell like studying anymore (im only halfway done with manifestations)
i shall crap a bit here.

i neeeeeed
money
food
clothes for itp and for school :(
new strings
new amp
new bass (technically this is a want. but i want it so much im gonna bump it up to need)

i want i want i want i want.......................so many things. impossible to list

not to sound corny, but i want power.
with great power comes great responsibility
so i will use my great power to get back at people i don't like.
and also to get things i want.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
if only i had great power la.

ok material things (and great powers) aside
i wish
i wouldnt get angry so easily. always feels like my heart's being eaten by littleteethybugthingys
too bad i am not so mellow. no wait actually i am very mellow already horh. but i still get annoyed very easily. wasnt like this before. don't know what changed.
or maybe i do. it was always maybeididsomethingwrong. now its fuckthatirritatingmoronfo rmakingmeangryificanmakehimsuffer.....and then i proceed to imagine things...which i shall not elaborate on here

*

just now when i was (supposed to be) studying
i got distracted
went to watch sekishoku on youtube. one video led to another. stupid links.
and you know how study breaks go.
they don't end.
*

EH EH I JUST REMEMBERED STH
ytd went jamming with jacob and 2 of his friends. so got to hear some very interesting stuff from those 2 guys
hahahahahahahah chubby always got bullied in school siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

if i go to sleep now
do u think i could wake up earlier tmr to study? make up for lost time?

tomorrow will be
the first day of school, and
the start of my instantnoodles/nutellabread diet because i am so damn poor

one problem: we have run out of nutella
and bread
and ibuprofen
and i have no money to buy them.
for real. my parents didnt leave any cash at home sia
where they expect me to find money?? im not even working AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

i don't even have money to buy lunch :( have to settle for instant noodles

since i don't plan to spend any money on food in school
im expecting to feel hungry and sleepy and cold the whole day. oh so conducive for learning.

if only the holidays were longer
id go into hibernation

*

reruns on channel 5
7th Heaven -_-
i just realised how annoying and hopelessly corny that show is.
and i wasnt even watching the show. i just overheard.
it was the christmas episode *gag*

one word: stupid.

had dinner at tampines mall. steak is nice.
popped by yamaha to get me some new strings
but you know what the guy there said?
HE SAID THEY ONLY HAVE 6-STRING pack WWWTTTTF????
they sell so many 4 string basses and they don't keep strings for those?
?!?!?!?!
k whatever.

my strings are so old, the E string broke off at the tuner. my favorite one somemore. hahahahahaha
lucky what remained was long enough. can save.
now i really really really need new strings.

omg its friday already FRIDAY! (almost anyway)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

*

bleah. i am so tired i had to do (the above) MENTALLY since i cant exactly run around the living room, arms swinging wildly, yelling my head off at 12mn.

hai.
warm night. unusually warm.

*

so, i have reached lipid exudates. how long since i started? hmmmmm cant tell. feels like a millenium already.

*

ok u know believers ask god to give them strength. give them courage. blah blah blah
why they dun ask god to give them money? GOD, GIVE ME MONEY! I WANT MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i don't need miracles, with money i can do anything!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hai.
sounds like i should ask the devil. he seems like one who'd grant such requests...
AT THE COST OF MY SOUL THAT IS!

lucky for me i don't believe in heaven or hell. and i don't believe in god.
in fact not only do i not believe in god, i am ANTIGOD! YES! I'M CROSSING OVER TO SATANISM!!

oh yea. the main issue with asking god for strength and courage is FOR ALL YOU KNOW whatever strength/courage u seem to have suddenly, magically, could be YOU PSYCHO-ING YOURSELF INTO ACTION?!!
HELLOOOOOOO THE POWER OF THE MIND!!!!!!!!

ah.
i am tired.

wa
really really numb legs

i got desperate
needed to start patho revision
so i forced myself to squat here (like L) and study
it worked. i managed to get started. -_-
then my legs went numb
at least nv cramp up la.
hahahahahahahaah

meh~
my new happy song is Garden by Dir en grey.

yes i am very bored, or i wldnt post something as bo liao as 'my new happy song'
today nv study. that thought keeps popping up in my head like every 5 minutes but i cant bring myself to do it whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

good news is i almost got Yokan down. hehe
but almost hardly means perfect.
the nice thing about these songs is the more u play the slower they seem
so far of all the songs ive learnt, scarified's the only one that didnt seem to slow down :(

today got this man keep staring at me on the train
wth. he was like 2 meters away only la. i was sitting in the corner and he was standing but i got peripheral vision ok?!
so i shot him this dark look
he saw it, but wtf he continued staring
some people are so rude
i know i should be used to it by now, and in most cases it doesnt bother me
(in most cases people just take an extra glance what...)
but you expect people to stop when the person theyre staring at is aware of it right!?!

i guess i don't look scary enough la.
no, the truth is i don't look scary at all.
need the help of scleral lenses and well, a new wardrobe. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
.
.

but i got no money to spare.

cool weather + hot tea = happy
*

deathnote 2 quite nice ah. not as boring as the first.

wa but very sad. L die. again. it wldnt have been as bad if they followed the manga and he just died when Rem wrote his name, but they changed the damn story la! make until he so noble sacrifice himself to solve the case.

andddd the scene where light dies not as drama as the manga one. but i suppose to follow the manga mightve been overdoing it. the acting already very drama. heart attack also won't die immediately. eyes must open wide in ohmygodheartattack! agony and squirm around like a fish out of water. but thats not enough. also must say a few more words and emit some ah!heartattack groans(?). BUT still haven die. squirm some more, groan some more, and then maybe the person will die. finally.

L's heart attack seems to be the only exception. wouldnt have been very cool for him to go thru all that i guess.

who said i very anticlimatic huh? laugh when people dying? come to think of it i guess it did kinda spoil the atmosphere ah. hahahahaha too bad la

one more thing. laughing when people die is not a sadistic thing. people die all the time. laughing when people are being TORTURED to DEATH then counts as sadistic.
.
.
k wait i take that back. i probably laughed in a scene like that too.
bottomline is, its not sadistic because its just a show. not real life. if it were real and someone laughed, thats definitely sadistic.

the cinema's seats really bad for the neck. got headache already.

the moment i reached home i heated up leftover lunch. hungry sia. very hungry.
i probably saved 5$ tho. yessssssssssssss! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

there was a mosquito in my room last night
i thought i could ignore it by hiding under the blanket
thought since it already stole some blood from my foot and arm it would leave me alone, but nooooooo bloody bug wants more
that buzzing sound i'd hear whenever it came close was scary. and then i couldnt tell if it was under the blanket with me, or flying above.
didnt want to risk it
so i decided to kill the damned thing

that took another 10 minutes. bloody hell.
hard to spot such a tiny bug so i just stood in a corner, glaucoma notes in hand, and waited.
(glaucoma notes... because they were the first things i saw on my table la. didnt want to dirty my hands)

wa but that idiot really wasted my time.
missed quite a bit
i think mosquitoes have evolved in the past few years man. they fly faster now.
last time one smack sure hit one. now need to try 5 times before i hit the target.

maybe im getting old.

surprise surprise
im in a good mood. first time in 2 days.
was getting tired of feeling like crap all the time

very content with everything now. most things anyway.
i know why
cuz my parents have hardly been home the whole day
meaning the tv has been quiet
meaning i have been able to play in peace

and im quite sure those things on the fretboard came from my finger.
happy
fingers havent felt like this in a long long time.
though now i cant feel much.

i guess as long as no one reminds me to study *cough*
i could feel like this all day

saw that the fretboard got a lot of dust.
dust, or skin from my fingers?
maybe skin. cuz i can see them fly off my fingers when i play. and also because they all concentrated at the 2 places i use most
so i finally decided to clean my bass
im horrible at maintaining things. usually i just let them rot age.
but now the fretboard is nice and clean. can see the grain.
i never really noticed

strings are a different story. still haven go buy.
i really should.

stupid first day this is gonna be one fucking fucked up year don't even ask me how i know i just do dammit everythings stupid everythings meaningless and everythings fucked up thank you god for nothing at all then again i dont even believe in you religion my ass

oh god such depressing days depressing depressing tests and more tests damn school depressing yes duck saved me for half an hour then someone told me to study 17hours 45 minutes into 2007 go to sleep and never wake up happy new year my ass

the brain is an amazing thing
too bad i can't be bothered to use mine.

not looking forward to 2007.