Thirteen Rabbits

sian. tmr still need go school for stupid fyp meeting with dawn.
she expects a draft of the intro. and for me to read up on lensmeters.
wtf lei. i havent done both. where got time la. whats more i have no idea what there is to read up about. zilch.
tmr no lesson or clinic. travel 2 hours just to meet her.
fucking waste of time.
all xj's fault. she still got the balls to say 'eh monday no school horh...' when i reminded her of the meeting. i wonder if she even hears anything i say.
and i couldnt say no to monday cuz then dawn would get the impression im like the slackest member of the group cuz im too lazy to travel to school just to meet them. then i'd get lower marks. which is so not true. hm hm so not true.
nonetheless that doesnt make it any less a waste of my afternoon.
all xj's fault.
fucking.
bad.
day.


*
today's business was slow.

another last minute oakley customer.
oakley frame 312$. nikon 1.74 aspheric lenses : 398$.

lucky this guy not like the lady i met last time. tell her lenses 398$ she shock. den nv buy. after i talk until mouth dry.

no, this guy was prepared to pay that amount leh. 710$! girlfriend not too happy with the price. why must buy the highest index? cant settle for lower index cheaper lens? and the guy was all you dunno la.. my degree so high will be very thick!

the optom there was like, you lucky ah.. this your second just-before-closing oakley customer.

but its not like 700$ goes into my pocket :(
furthermore that customer made us all stay back till 10pm.


still, im not that psyched.

oh but you know
i like to think
when im having a great day, someone else is feeling like crap.
whenever i feel like shit, someone else must be having a very good day.

and since im not exactly on cloud 9 right now
im hoping someone else is.

*
one more thing.
sometimes i think the more you love life the shorter yours is.
why?
because i do not value mine.
and no matter how often i lie in bed at night thinking 'if i could just die now...'

im still here.

i am feeling down
:(

:(

:(
maybe skipping dinner has something to do with it.

today
i can smell the sea

all the frivolous thoughts that occupy our minds every day.
so silly. so unneccessarily exhausting.

but if we took them away we'd only have serious matters to think of and then everyone would commit suicide or become depressed or whatever.

its always frivolity that take priority.

such is the imperfectness of life

conclusion:
Gazette is a depressing band to listen to.
actually DEG's Saku is quite depressing also.
or maybe when i started listening to these songs i was very emo and the songs just got associated with those days.

even Nightmare makes me sad. more out of nostalgia though. see cuz Hitsugi's in it. and Nightmare is sort of the first VK band for me so i guess thats why.

*

i think its been 2 weeks already. maybe 3.
nonetheless i can still see them. dunno why theyre taking so long.
today has been tempting.

*
its been a good day for practice. what a bloody miracle.

i did homework today. freaky.
more surprisingly it was quite easy.
bah what am i saying. its english!
*
the busker at the train station is singing hymns. he has the funniest kind of vocals.
*
and my hair is so emo. this is so depressing (haha).

my thumb hurts.
because i accidently stabbed myself with the stupid screwdriver while changing clip-on nosepads.
wa but so paiseh lei.. change nosepads only must ask the optom take over HAHHAHA
eh eh but i sold a pair of oakleys lei! tampines branch definitely more business than pasir ris. one month there nv sell oakleys. here, 2 days enough. total for second day of work only 3 frames .. about 800$ bah. first day was only 5 hours, think i sold one pair?
but the people at tampines bully me! not the bad kind of bully la. lekxuan attachment there mustve been horriiiiibleeeeeee hahahaha i heard she got teased a lot. cuz she so guai kia.

so today i took over weihan's shift at spoc. ok la the patients not too bad. 2 GEs. heng ah i tot got paeds. first patient was late 20 minutes bloody hell. didnt finish the second patient till like 145pm. so hungry u know. no mood to do anything already. lucky that guy knew i was hungry and didnt want to hold me up. i was supposed to adjust his specs but he just say nvm. hahahaha.

nonetheless lunch was at 330 :(

wa i damn tired sial. work is tiring sial.
so many prices to rmb sial. and that weird refraction room.

today they let me invert someone's eyelid. so tight somemore. i pull until her eyelash come out. hahahahahaha but then her eyelashes were so short and sparse to begin with.

today ah today
today has been a really weird day. full of funny stares on the train
...
..
.
or am i thinking too much?

*
didnt bring my specs. didnt bring my earphones also.
and why?
because i thot class was at 9.
set my alarm for 610. slowly bathe until 630. den uploaded a few songs to my phone. until 655.

655! fuck! only then i realised it was 8am lesson! still even though i was in a hurry i managed to er, comb my hair. actually my aim is to NOT have tidy hair. perhaps one day i should try just .. not combing my hair.
surprise surprise lek xuan was on the same train as me. we always seem to be on the same train one lei. such coincidence. she overslept. but still woke up earlier than me lei.
lucky first lesson was ophdis with vivien.
*

too bad my vision's such a blur.
i got to stare at hitsugi in the afternoon. oh and there was this good looking stranger on the train too HAHAHAH couldnt see him clearly lei even though he was right in front of me. all because he was standing at 2x my farpoint. which translates to.. slightly over a metre.
yea my eyesight is so pathetic.
*

ive been having.. a bout of bad luck, you may say.
maybe, maybe the only time i was lucky was when jacob lost his black book instead of mine. HAHA
er. right.
but then again that hardly counts as luck. maybe he more suay than me so the suay things happen to him instead. or maybe he's just careless.. and was unlucky also la. hahahaha.

i think im supposed to go work tmr. think so only. should call them again.
i totally forgot about shaikh's bbq la. nvm can make it after work. that is, if i am supposed to report tmr.

*
the picture on top? no relation la. just felt like putting. so fun.
xiangjiun dunno how to appreciate hitsugi's pictures. keep saying he look like a cartoon. unreal.
tch.

hmmm
the weather has been really really warm of late.

i want to chop off my hair.

i just downloaded a shitload of nightmare and gazette pictures.
not sure what for.
i guess post 1000 will be damn full of images

in the meantime, here's hitsugi to spice up this very short post.
hahaha these things just make me so happy

singaporeans are stupid.
i feel sorry for the government.

granted, i havent had the chance to live with or observe how people from other countries are like
they may very well be just as stupid as the people here.
let me continue

i am not talking about the level of education. this is not something measureable with an IQ test.

i am talking about the stupidity of a population tainted
tainted by stubborn pride and selfish greed. and that really, just equates into our strong competitive spirit.

competition is good. when it is healthy of course. but competition has resulted in something else.

the adults think they know everything just because they have a few more decades of experience under their belt.

their children, the next generation, grow up stupid and ignorant. their childhoods revolve around tuitions and assessments. when theyre with their friends they only want to prove their 'worth'. who's more intelligent. who has more As. who has more toys. who's more cool.
so they yak and yak and yak away at stuff they don't understand. even to their 8 year old classmates.

everyone - young or old - is so eager to be heard, no one listens. They clam up in their own twisted understanding of the way things are. and they are content. they think, i am really cool. i know so many things.

when someone disagrees with them theyre so quick to go on the defense they don't hear anything else.
its not even, yes i respect your opinion even though i disagree.
its only, NO you and your thoughts are wrong. i am right. i am right. i am right. shut up.

ahh yes,
singaporeans act like a spoilt brats

do you agree
that the maturity of a person can be measured by how ready he is to accept differing views and to accept that he may be wrong?
that maturity is a measure of one's ability to listen and be receptive? to truly consider all facets of an issue before he decides to comment?


*


why do i feel, everytime, im just trying to make somebody listen?

i was wondering why the Fourth Avenue Cafe by larc en ciel sounded so familiar and anime-ish
turns out it was one of the songs for Rurouni Kenshin! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

havent seen that in yearssssssssss man

i feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel
like ive done something worthwhile today.

and all i did was play bass.

heeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

playing Bottom of the Death Valley by DEG over and over
simple song. simple and slow.

when did i buy new strings?
they are filthyyyyyyyyyyy

so free, i actually got round to 'maintaining' my bass.
by that i really mean doing things i should be doing everytime i put it down... + a little more
ahahahah
ahem. whatever la. sounds like new strings now.

im feeling a little guilty.
but i check already...its not like i can buy these in singapore mah.............................

"the most apt expression is an echo."

*

its been

"i don't deserve to live.
i don't deserve to live.

i don't deserve to live


...?"

over and over again.

*

eh you know now that ive gotten round to listening to them properly, MUCC And despairsray sound quite nice. hahahahahaha

so frustrating.

i think ive become too used to not using my brain.
i may write something down, but i cant recall what it is ive written the next moment.
maybe thats why i didnt realise ive stayed here 5 years already.
so scary.
how to learn anything like that?
and then my life will just pass by like that. and i'd only have remembered the bad stuff

i think this has something to do with my reluctance to write anything pertaining to life and philosophy and all life's questions. not using my brain. somehow relates to that.
in some mysterious way.

or maybe im just stupid.
and lazy

but whatever

when we were younger our parents punished us when we did wrong.
and then when we grew up our parents just stop punishing us because we should know better.
would it be weird if the grown up kid punishes himself/herself in his/her parents' stead?

oops?

today i went on a guitarpro tab downloading spree.
a bunch of jrock tabs, some of them i don't even have the songs. but whatever la.
found bottom of the death valley by DEG ( nice). along with some luna sea, gazette and despairsray
was hoping to find some alice nine tabs but... :(
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DUNNNNNN HAVEEEEEE???????????????????????????????????????????????????

so
tmr got plans.
troublesome plans.
plans i wish i could drag someone along with me to make more enjoyable or bearable.
certain social plans i really am too lazy to go ahead with but which i cant hide from
whether out of guilt or plain stupidity due to slow thought processes.

tomorrow
i need to pretend.

this 1000th post thing is coming around slower than i expected

*
ok when was the last i blogged? seems like ages ago.
i'll just type some random things then.

the other day 2 teenagers came into the lift with me.
i asked 'which floor?'
'4th'
i was........ so embarressed.
i didnt recognize my neighbors.
but they grow up already mah. last i rmb they were still in primary school. didnt even know the boy had moved off to the sports school. think he was the one who liked to sing very loudly in the shower also. if/when he becomes the next Remy Ong...

so fast ah. its already the 5th year in this house.
what have i been doing? i dun remember these 5 years lei

*
i wish i didnt answer the phone just now.
troublesome troublesome! some people i should just ignore when i see the caller id. ya.

*
dad came back from europe yesterday.
this time he brought back a bag of sweets. people there really like sweet stuff. very sweet stuff. i will get diabetes. and oddly one of the packets of dunnowhatbiscuit had no information in english. german and french and somethingelse. cannot understand. the only ingredient i could recognise was sucre. -_-

what elsseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee no naruto to watch. no bleach either. only L's death. ah. so sad. so sad. so sad.
must be the third time he died but still,
so sad.

ahhh L diedddddddddddddd
:( :( :( :( :( :(
i am so sadddddddddddddddddddd

hai wth.
depressing.

i have too many thoughts in my head. i was about to say i have too many voices in my head, but that would be inaccurate because theyre all the same voice. mine. and they keep contradicting each other it makes me tired.
my brain is very inefficient.
or maybe im just not trying. to sort out my thoughts, that is.
wonder which is more exhausting. to actually get organised or to just let my head go on and on.


did i mention?

friends make you weak.
whoever said friends make you strong was lying. what they do is make you dependent (on them). and then one day when you cannot do that anymore,
you die.

glossy one nice right right right.
theyre both black and see thru. just one glossy one matte

tch. not sick. not well. cannot get mc. pfff

wa check out the ESP artist series.
last 5 Japanese ones are Gazette's and Nightmare's guitars
nice eh

click!
http://www.espguitars.co.jp/artist/index.html