Thirteen Rabbits

絶望した! this world where people advertise their good deeds has left me in despair!

ive always been puzzled by the actions of certain types of people. they are people who are just so enthusiastic about activities. u know, those go-getters, do-gooders. proactive people. i'll admit i am envious of them to a certain extent. while i am happy to sit in the background when people who wish to take centre-stage are around, these people fight for the limelight. they get louder and louder until all eyes are on them. an attitude like that, though kind of annoying, will take one far in life.

they puzzle me because i don't know where their source of energy comes from. i never feel so energetic unless i see a delicious-looking bass, get a note from the postman telling me my Plastic Tree order from CDJapan has arrived, or when im at a rock concert. my lethargy has its roots in my ridiculous state of un-fitness. (i expect myself to keel over and die, any moment now)

anyway, back to this puzzling group of people. sometimes they get so enthusiastic i wonder if it's all a show. a show to impress higher-ups. because nowadays u cannot just have a GPA of 4 or 5 (whichever the maximum is).
you have to be able to ...

• play tennis with one of the williams sisters, and
• do an ANOVA test without microsoft excel or other computer program, while
• reciting, in Japanese, pi to the nth digit.
• bonus if u can solve an Evil sudoku puzzle in 0.37 seconds.

the other reason i wonder if it is all a show is because some people are advertising whatever good deeds theyre doing. yea yea whatever. maybe im just not the sort who cares about philanthropy. actually not maybe.. philanthropy does not appeal to me at all.

絶望した! this hypocritical society has left me in despair!

go ahead and do good all you want. after you run out of spare organs to donate, give your appendix to someone who went through an appendectomy. whatever, O venerable one!

i have 3 words: stop marketing yourself.

don't tell me how happy you are to be doing (insert philanthropic act here). don't tell me 'im going to (insert location name) to (insert philanthropic act here) in 3hours!'
don't tell me 'im leaving for (insert location name) now!'

i wish the developers of facebook come up with something to filter these annoying self-advertising goody-goodies soon.

there are only a few important people in my life. sometimes i want to delete delete delete everyone else on facebook. but i can't do that without appearing like a sour anti-social freak.

*

ooh i feel like im on a roll. time flies. it is alredy 10 past 2 in the morning. :S

i think mum hasnt fully accepted me for me. the other day she was 'don't you like wearing skirts?' and 'don't cut your fringe. let it grow out it will look neater'. (i.e, do away with a fringe. especially this one that hides half your face)

what the hell. i can't help who i am. i am not interested in becoming another girl next door. there are too many of those. i run from things like that. instinctively. it is not like im thinking 'oh no. this is so sweet-looking and just like the demure girl next door that everyone loves.. i must RUN!'

thats ridiculous. i can't help it that im drawn to black and white. i have absolutely no interest in anything light-coloured or bright-coloured if it isnt white or grey.

not to mention if i don something like that it would look extremely weird.

but mum keeps trying to force these things on me. ok, so she stops short of literally shoving girly clothes onto me. but she drops little 'suggestions' here and there. it annoys the hell out of me!!! my MOTHER! my mother can't accept who i am! well i'm sorry im not the type of daughter you hoped for! what on earthhhhhhh?!?! do you know how it's like to live with that feeling for so many years????? it is so frustrating!!

frustration!!! tch. and they keep thinking im still a child. mum especially. thinks i can't do anything on my own. she thinks im too scared to approach anyone when im just too lazy. the way i see it, why should i do it when you can do it? if i were on my own and i needed something done, of course i'll do it myself! because i have no CHOICE. if we're talking about boldness, i don't think she's all that either! or she wouldnt be pushed around all the time!

i'll be 21 in 2 weeks and she gets upset when i come home at 2am!!!!!! what the hellllllllllllll

can anyone understand my frustration!!!!!!!!!!!????????????

oh my godddd my head hurts.

i have found a new bass to lust after.
not so keen on purple, but it's the only colour this comes in.

ESP LTD F-155DX

damn. it's probably allergies. my nose is a leaky tap and my eyes itch.

i am sadded that this aimless, eventless life is going to end soon.

if i weren't a student, i'd be a NEET through and through.

did i mention i found a nice ESP LTD 5stringer bass going at $350? i think it's a pretty old model though. or it wouldnt be so cheap.

latest double episode of naruto shippudden was BIG SHOCK!!!!!!!!!!
i really enjoyed it :D

meh. no exam results. i dunno how theyre gonna release it.

i slept at like 6am and woke at noon. had a very strange dream. there was Beyonce, Seal and Will Smith! SUPER WEIRD. and Seal was shooting at Will Smith with some kind of hunting rifle. ROFL. i can understand why Seal and Beyonce might pop up (ive been watching too much tabloid tv) but i have no idea why Will Smith popped out. unlessss it was that Hancock trailer i saw on HBO...

there's a new 20% discount code on ASOS. even with 20% off the boots i want will still cost me $290 after shipping. oh well. i think the novelty will wear off in a few months.

the other thing im slightly hesitating to get is a new bass. i think i should get a new one, even if im not really that good at it. hmhmhmhhmhm it makes me happy. these days the only distractions i have are sudoku and kakkuro. both are number puzzles. im just that nerdy.

my threadless T's have arrived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D
2 weeks only! that was fast!!!!!

絶望した!
how fast time flies has left me in despair!

ok, ok. i watch too much sayonara zetsubou sensei. haiiiiiiii
these days my dreams are more fun than life.
staying home too much makes me uneasy when i leave the house. holidays have that effect on me.

*
i hate how life is just sooooo grey. not so much depressing, but how things are neither black nor white. grey area.
actually i don't want to use the word 'hate' because it is overused and not exactly the most appropriate word at this moment. what i feel is somewhere more than 'dislike' but less that 'hate'. it isnt really 'detest' either.

絶望した!

i can't lean too much to the left. can't lean too much to the right. but what i learnt from zetsubou sensei is : nothing is completely half-half! it is always skewed one way or other! 絶望した!!!

hai.

on a totally different topic
ive been quite bothered by something someone said. it wasnt mean. im pretty sure that person did not mean to hurt or offend. what was said just lacked tact. ohmygod. i want to forget it. it has to do with one of those things u just don't want to face. ie, u know what was said was probably true, but you just don't want to face it. because if u did, it means u admit u made a mistake. it means u regret it. and i don't want to regret something because regret is not productive. it is just a waste of energy on something that cannot be changed. now, which anime did i get that from?

there are a lot of things i want to get over. but i don't get over things. i ignore things. (see: 'through life' skit from sayonara, zetsubou sensei) or i bury them. but i never forget or deal with them. how can i get over anything, right? thats one of the things i hate about myself.

絶望した!

sometimes i think i intentionally do things that screw up my life. which reminds me of an episode of zetsubou sensei. main point of it was: when we are torn between choosing A or B, we end up choosing C. and i thought wow, how true is that!? or maybe i have had thoughts of doing that. i don't remember.

絶望した!

alright. nothing in life is as important as you think it is. whatever bad choices youve made in the past weren't really that bad. even if it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. because life goes on. perhaps one of those bad choices will lead to you living in a cardboard box by the beach one day. or maybe it will cause you to go 絶望した! all day, but tomorrow will come.

you won't have to worry that tomorrow will not come. cuz if it doesnt it means youre dead. and if youre dead you don't have to worry about anything.

i wonder how many people my age have no goal in life. i wonder 5 years from now, will i still not have a goal in life? lately i feel like im doing the wrong thing. it is another part of my life that i think im intentionally screwing myself over.
i really really really wish i knew what i wanted to do. what i was happy doing. optometry is plenty interesting, but i don't think it is my calling. i don't know if i'll ever be able to accept this job. but i have no idea what else i can do.

omggggggggggggg what is my school email passworddd
i forgot it the moment i created it, over 6 months ago.
T_T
stupidddd stupiddddddddd my password was too strong even i cant guess it
:( :(
backfired on me, stupid thing.

i want my exam results!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't even remember the school SAS password! and the server is down till tmr morning, so i can't reset it now!
T_T

T_T

gosh, time flies!

i can't stop thinking that the holidays will be over soon. and by soon i mean in slightly under one month.... which isnt that soon in reality. and that unpleasant thought is spoiling my day(s).

ive been watching sayonara zetsubou sensei whole of today. season 1 and 2. there's only 3 seasons! :( im already halfway through! sadded.
it is super funny though. hahaha i don't remember the last time an anime made me laugh so much. there is WAY too much dialogue, but i find some of the things they say hilarious. the episode in the first season about 'the original way' or the 'recipe way' was one of the best, i think. XD it is funny because it is true. and the way they made it a literal escape route was super! XD XD XD

and then there's how the main character itoshiki sensei falls into despair at everything. lol

this anime just pokes fun at everything!

i though it was interesting that a group of crows is known as a murder of crows.
i also thought it was amusing that a word like 'unclarity' exists. such an amazing world! it is just what i'd do! say a bunch of ambiguous things to achieve a degree of unclarity. it makes me feel like unclarity is a cloud. and i can surf on a cloud of unclarity. yea i know. it makes no sense at all.
it still bothers me when people say 'irregardless'. and 'unsecure' when they mean 'insecure'.

something is burning. is it the 7th month thing? still? i don't think it is the haze (the haze is annoying too. i wish -somebody- would try harder to address this issue. it isnt fair that other countries have to suffer because of something you started. yea im sure you have your hands full with other more pressing problems but it's not like we're not helping out, right?). it is stinking up my room and making my eyes teary. dammit. dammit dammit.

oh since im on the topic of air quality, traffic is a pretty big contributor to the pollution, isnt it? if only people didnt drive.
i miss fresh air..

i also miss being able to see the horizon. it is like living in a box. i think thats why so many myopic people here. everything is built tall and clustered. turn any direction and u see a building. hai. im feeling claustrophobic. i miss the NZ landscape :( land of LAND and fresh airrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (excluding urban areas) man, everything is so beautiful there... i miss the ocean and the cliffs. and the clouds (more often, cloudless), the briliant blue sky, the cold wind, the low population density :D and waterrrrrrrrr water water waterrr wonderful wonderful waterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and trees and plants and the goondu sheep behind the fence. HAHAHAHAHAHAH and the magpies! so cuteeeeeeeeeeee (cuz they are black and white la! hahahaha)

i do not miss the spiders though. honestly, how can there be SO MANY spiders???????????


oh, and because there's so much space there, all the buildings are large. the parking lots are huge. there is a lot of walking to do. sometimes it gets a bit annoying because im hopelessly lazy. but exercise is good for you. ah. the grass there is nice too. different climate, different type of grass. hai.

dang.

*
my classmates keep posting stupid videos on facebook. next time there's a warning of disturbing content, im going to stop watching! dammit. can't they post something nice? first it was brainless people (literally. head split in 2), then it was dog meat trade. what the hell. post something nice. like japanese food. or jrock. or parodies. or anime. sheesh.

i think it is quite hypocritical to slam the dog trade if you eat meat too. yes, the dog meat trade is extremely cruel. but what makes consuming dog meat any more sinful than ostrich, deer, pork or beef? the only difference i think, is the way the animals were treated (and the method of slaughter la).
oh yea. i guess people can't accept killing dogs because they are supposed to be man's best friend. and i do think it is a pity. but thats just biasness la. a life is a life. whether youre killing dogs, pigs, cows or chickens, you still ended a life. so how can you say those people are inhuman for killing and consuming dog meat. what about the beef or chicken you had for dinner? how innocent are you?

i think eating sharks fin is worse. it is one of the stupidest things people eat. like, it has no taste. you can substitute sharks fin with something else and no one would be able to tell the difference. people order it at restaurants just because it is expensive and it is a good chance to show off to the others. it is the most mindless, idiotic type of killing. i despise people like that. i will respect someone who orders imitation sharks fin more than someone who insists on the real thing.

i think eating turtle is pretty stupid as well. monkey brain too. like, wtf? those things make me gag. ah. snake too.

ah. i should just go vegetarian, right? oh, but beef is so yummy... especially when the center is still red.......... lol

i wonder how many times ive watched this video, but i only just realised kyo did something to the tutu girl's legs. GAHAAHAHAHAH
i was distracted by the awesemeness of the song and bass and toshiya.

i swear this is like one of their most awesomest songs. their visual days were really cool. wish they still made that kind of music. :(

i still cant get over Recall. really really like the bass here. favorite Sadie song so far. but i havent heard much of their work. i should do something about it!

Ice Romancer is very cool too! heheheehee

*

does the left hand do a lot more typing than the right? because of the placement of the letters on the qwerty keyboard. or is it just because im a lefty?

wow wow wow the sky is so overcast now i am just staring at the clouds with a silly grin on my face.

oh yea. forever21 twist (punk) was a super disappointment. their twist (circus) edition was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAy better. i really liked the circus edition. with twist punk it's like clowns sucked the designers' brains out with a straw and got Cinderella to teach the designers what punk was. they even managed to make the models look bad. i don't see how this collection is even remotely punk. what the hell. a graphic print of a safety pin on a shirt does not make it punk. holding the shirt together with a bunch of safety pins is punk. i am feeling offended (even though i am not punk). i feel offended for the punks out there. ok, so forever21 is hardly the brand to look at for punk wear, but this is worse than any punk rip off ive ever seen. YOUFAIL!

*

ohh last night i got home at like 3am. taxi fare was 20$ :( midnight surcharge bites.
it was a surprisingly fast ride. the cabbie was very nice. he kept chatting with me. usually i rather be left alone, but chatting took my mind off the nausea. heng ah! i was worried i might forget my PIN. lol >.<>

the more i read about it the more confused i get.
i heard swee lee going to have sale soon. like really soon?
if theyre gonna have a sale i'll consider getting an ibanez sr505.

the other one im considering is a ESP LTD D 5. this one is just a good deal. i contacted the seller. he keeps calling me 'bro'. i havent corrected him.

there is also a yamaha 775. the discontinued model. but i have a feeling 5stringer on a yamaha is gonna get quite wide. :( which is a pity, cuz i think this bass is pretty good. if it doesnt work out with the LTD, i'll try the yamaha.

i swear, if i get a bass, i can say goodbye to eating out for the rest of the year.

oh ya. forever21 seems to have heard me ranting. new limited edition collection coming soon! sounds promising!

oh ho! got lobang for work! i really hate to work, but im so desperate for money, im not gonna complain. 2 weeks of work will finance my new bass AND new wardrobe!

i should be leaving this as feedback to the lecturers, but ive already done the feedback. dammit!
nvm. i'll complain here.

PRACTICAL exams! why are some lecturers so fierce!!! why do they have to put on a imgonnakillyou expression while u go through the motions of whatever it is youre being tested on!
sure, it's an exam. serious business. but that doesnt mean u gotta turn into a freaking field marshal! wwwwwwwwttttttth!
they don't have to be so curt. they can still speak normally. did they botox their facial muscles the day before??? they should try to make the student feel more at ease, not more panicky!


sheeeeeeeesh.

*

ok that's that. (very belated rant, since exams over so long ago. hahahha)

MUCC's shigatsu no rengesou sounds VERY familiar. like some song from an old band. reallly relally realllyyy familiar. ummm oh think think think. i only know so many old rock bands. AH!

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN! reallyyyyyy!

does anyone think so too?

it is 1234am on 090909. i have such good timing.

comex is tmr (thursday) through the weekend. it is a good chance to get a new camera, some printer ink cartridges, cellphone and laptop.
but i got no cash to spare. T_T

the old camera works, but the battery's screwed up. and a new battery costs half as much as a new camera. might as well get a new one right?

the printer will always need ink, because thats how the companies suck us dry. i wish printers could print with blood. i'd gladly donate mine. HAHAHA the pages would stink though! HAHAHAHA

i realyl need a new phone. because my motorazr is so scratched up. but i don't want to waste that money because by some miracle, IT WORKS PERFECTLY!!!!!!!!! motorazr is one durable phone man. i tell u ive dropped it so many times. last month i dropped it into a wet drain. and it was flat in the drain. more than half submerged. but it still works! miracle. really. im very impressed. i love this phone la. it is a little heavier than some because it is made of metal, but it's so FLAT it just slides into the pockets of my skinny jeans :D
my next cell, i shld get something just as thin.

im still living with my laptop. even though sometimes it gets so hot, it hurts to touch the touchpad :(

money money. rain some money down on me. i don't care if theyre pennies.

these rings...
there is one (of the above ring) in gold @ $15. it is quite tempting.... but i prefer something larger like this>>>>>>.

キラキラした夢の島　何処にあるの？

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キラキラした夢の島　何処にあるの？

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キラキラした夢の島　何処にあるの？

TOP OF PAGE


キラキラした夢の島　何処にあるの？

TOP OF PAGE


キラキラした夢の島　何処にあるの？

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キラキラした夢の島　何処にあるの？