Thirteen Rabbits

oh no. so scary. exam period is so depressing.
it's making me think of stuff i rather forget. whywhywhy are unpleasant events burned into memory while the happy ones are so hazy?

things i resent people for. sometimes it is because they have a point, so what they say makes me want to beat myself up. and i resent them for that! gahhhhhhhhhh
pffft. sometimes even the smallest things that others wouldnt give a second thought to come back and haunt me. so every now and then i feel like the biggest idiot in the world. and these 'now and then's occur more frequently now because the exams really put me in a sucky mood.

anyway, i think i really messed up the exams this time. waaay worse than the first semester's. i don't know what's wrong with me. tch. cant wait for tuesday. that's the last paper. then i can put this all behind me. with a large dose of ryutaro of course. ah, just thinking of that puts me in a better mood.

i think i really am getting quite eccentric. i must be living in my head too much.
OH OH
cant wait for alice in wonderland! gonna catch it in 3D!!!!!!!!!!!
Jooohhhhhhnnnnnny depppppppppppppppppppp and a cheshire cat!!!ehehehehehe

i sit on my butt my back will ache.
i squat in my chair my legs fall asleep.
i lie on my bed i feel sleepy.

studying is so hard.
since i had dinner at like, 8pm, i am hungry now.

i just saw an ant appear on the paper im writing on. i say appear because it suddenly appeared in the middle of the paper. i assume it 'fell' from the ceiling. that, or ants can apparate. that why they are everywhere!
but i dont see any ants when i look at the ceiling! maybe im not looking hard enough

disasterrrrr biggggggg biggggg tragedyyyyy

i am so demoralised now

this is very distracting! how to concentrate when all i can think of omg, love! lovelovelovelovelove!

im going to start referring to ryutaro as my soulmate. HAHAHAHAHAHAH ahem.

i suddenly miss ryutaro! HAHAH wth! is it possible to miss someone youve never met?
aiyo. fukurou just brings me back..

anyway, OD today was a disaster. like, wthhhhhhhhhh wthhhhhhhhhhhh honestly?!?! WTH!!

especially that question on HVF indices! what the hellllllllllllllll!! the thing about abbreviations is no one's standardised it!
what the hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!

i hope ergonomics tmr will be better. it should be better if she doesnt combine chapters! and i hope i can keep my head when i see calculations!

am i the only one who is amused by this?


seat yourself in a chair
wrap your arms around your shoulders (like a self hug)
stop breathing.
bend side to side (right and left) like one of those weird oscillating toys. but bend at the waist!
ur body will make a funnnnnnnnny sound la. hahahahahhaha er i suppose its just air la.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA so stupid but so amusing.
cant do it too much or you'll get dizzy........

okkkkk i saw a youtube video on a not so straightforward LASIK procedure. now im feeling quite.. not so nice. gah i wish i was immune to these things. i shld be immune to these things!

i swear i'll never go for LASIK!

ants. i hate ants. i really really really hate ants. the first thing i do when i finish my last paper will be to clean my room. and the house.
i hate ants. it is one thing they crawl all over. and then they bite u for no reason! stupid gits.
i hate ants. if they werent vital for the ecosystem i'd take ant poison and stuff it into every nook and cranny in singapore.
including the so called 'nature reserves'.
every time i watch animal planet or whatever and they happen to be trekking in some lush forest i wish they'd take bug spray and go crazy with it.

the other thing i don't get is tanning salons. in this country. on this tropical island. tanning salons. REALLY? i don't get the whole tanning thing already, and now they have tanning salons? do people want to get cancer that badly? exactly what is so nice about looking chaotar? why do they want to look like roast ducks? yes, i belong to that group of people who like deathly pale . think edward cullen. minus the i-want-to-puke expression. hahahahahaha thats funny. im sadded i cannot be so pale even though i avoid the sun like a plague. maybe i need to live in a cave.


according to a certain tanning salon website, employers will hire a tan guy over a pale guy cuz tan guys appear to be smarter. so strange. thats the exact opposite of what i'd think. i tend to think tan people are all brawn and no brain. sigh. im sadded that im so judgemental. it is very difficult to change when the first word that pops into my head everytime i see someone like that is 'idiot!' or sth like 'caveman!'. such a deeply rooted discrimination. to think i am a libra. (however, according to a cetrain facebook app, i am nothing like a libra. hahahahahahahaha)


oh. do note that when i say 'tan', i mean people who really go tanning. not dark-complexioned people. u can tell when someone goes tanning and when someone is just dark-skinned. maybe some ppl have taken the tanning thing overboard. living in a tropics, everyone is tanned to a certain degree (except those naturally fair skinned people, i would like to say they are lucky, but these group of ppl burn easily and are more likely to get skin cancer.) so when someone goes tanning, they turn out chaotar. it looks quite ridiculous. i feel like they are sucking light in, like little black holes. except they are brown holes. not the least bit attractive.


oh yea. mum picked up a bird's nest yesterday. not the bird-spit nest la. the one with twigs and stuff. it was very windy that day. probably fell out of some tree. cute little thing. not the bowl-type nest. but one of those hanging ones, like a cradle? cutest thing ever. except it looked filthy so i didnt touch it.


it is getting warm. the weather. getting super warm. sadded. what does it take to get a thunderstorm around here!? and because of the ants that were crawling all over me just now (stupid beach!) i still feel like things are on me even tho ive taken a bath and everything. yuccccccccckssssssssssss


tonight i am not really getting society.


eh. these days the only thing tugging on my heartstrings is that very very very super sweet ESP LTD f155dx. like literally, i can feel my heart aching. alas my 4-string friend is 800$ and like, 8000miles away *sniff*

wa. it never really occurred to me that people would attempt suicide by overdosing on eyedrops. -_- cuz i always thought of eyedrops as rather insignificant, even though im supposed to memorise atropine poisoning, systemic effects of cycloplegics etc.

the treatment options for thyroid eye disease are deeply rooted in my memory now. i am curious to see surgical decompression. break this wall. break that wall. so scary.

the dr said the exam's gonna be easy. that's what they said last semester. conclusion: when a consultant tells you the exam is easy, it isnt. because those ppl are in a league of their own :(

i reeeeeeeeally can't take anymore revision!
but i have to :( i think i need to make more flashcards. at least it injects a little more fun into revision. just a little. and i don't have to waste any paper! i just wish i had an ipod. these flashcards can be uploaded into an ipod so i can revise on the go!

oh. ive started squatting on my chair instead of sitting in it. i got bored of sitting? it actually feels quite comfortable. i hope it makes me a genius like L.

i feel like a basketcase when i revise by saying answers out loud.
my neighbours can probably hear me go DIABETIC RETINOPATHY! classification for severe nonproliferative db retinopathy!! causes of complicated cataract surgery! ORBITAL CELLULITIS!
i cannot sit still. i couldnt even stand still while shampooing my hair.
i feel like im going to get a headache soon
headache! AAC! nausea, pain! middilated pupil!

i am so sick of revision!

i notice a new mole on my wrist. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. i don't like constellations on my body :(

we just returned from chinatown. so many angmohs. bought cheap over-ripe durians. 1 dollar per pack. bought 5 and got 1 free. so thats like 84cents each. hehehehehehe and they are bittersweet! my fav. it was very crowded. some assholes like to push. what's their hurry!? i was so close to yelling at this man. the most i did was let out a loud 'tch!'. hm.
my parents said it wasnt going to be crowded. i suppose their definition of crowded differs significantly from mine. my definition of not crowded is 1 person per 2 square meters. their definition of not crowded was, if i take the numbers today, 4 people per square meter.

a thought has surfaced in my consciousness. but it isnt very nice, so i shan't mention it here. it bothers me slightly because that idea is rather... cold. and in that sense, practical. i suppose reality goes hand in hand with practicality, and with that i guess sympathy was kicked aside.
hmmmm

i was so hungry just now my whole body felt like jelly :(

bv pract test tmr!!!!!1 ah!!!!!!! i need to find a watch!
k nvm. gonna use the one with the broken strap. at least it still works.

very little revision today.
:(

oh. updated my prescription today. lucky! i havent become more myopic! phew~ i was worried, because the laptop screen looked extra blurry the other day. some kind of accommodative spasm after hours of revision, perhaps? i also conclude that my astigmatism is purely corneal. i was half listening when they were talking about the corneal topographer. was i supposed to look 3 rings away?

im starting to think wearing sneakers makes me feel stupid. and i feel more confident wearing boots. hmmmmmmmmmmm maybe im just self conscious about my ankles showing. hahahahahaha

pract exam today went significantly better than yesterday :)

revision too :)

next up is BV pract!

blehhhhhhhh what a disaster!!
i would like to fastforward to next week, when i know today's disastrous pract exam will be a teeny tiny memory. but i need this week to mug for the exams starting on the 22nd.

i think i need more anime to comfort myself.

i am very sadded. it seems like very bad luck. things just havent been going well recently.
first, something on my skullcandy broke. but ive come up with a temporary solution. it's just the catch at the top that keeps it 'open' u know? well whatever.
and then i overslept this morning! i was supposed to be at school at 8am, but i woke at 9! :( and i missed the very important ergonomics tutorial :( ::( i am very very sadded about missing tutorial.

and then my PSP dieded on me on the way to school! flat battery. :( :(

and then now ive got superglue all over my fingers. but i don't really see this as an unlucky thing la. even on my luckiest day, i'll never be able to use superglue without making a big mess. clumsy me. im glad none of it splashed into my eyes. superglue is really really irritating on the eyes. i had some just near my eyes once. it was enough to get my eyes red and teary :(

and i didnt get much revision done today :(

oh yea. i tried some of the traditional tricks for removing superglue from fingers. er. didnt really try the acetone though. that should work really well i think. i figured anything oily would help, so i put some butter on my fingers.
butterfingers.

hahahahaahahahha ive still got quite a lot of glue stuck. but i think, 30% rubbed off.