Thirteen Rabbits

yes! finally i cleaned my room. this area must be 3kg lighter now that it is relatively dust-free! i exaggerate of course. it is far from dust free. but it is enough not to trigger any allergies. i can see the surface of my desk now. i can see the top of the cabinet. i do not see a layer of dust on every horizontal (or otherwise) surface! rejoice! i have procrastinated long enough!

allergies aside, what made me tidy up was the fact that the mess was turning from an organised mess into a disorganised one. i hope i remember where i keep my stuff now. the biggest downside to cleaning is re-learning where stuff are. it will be a week of opening wrong drawers, looking into wrong boxes and displacing things again.

i never stop hoping that one day, every item i own will be tagged. and when i forget where it is, i can call it, it rings and just like that, problem solved. GPS precise to 1 foot would be great too.

oh. i forgot to clean the filter of my AC. pfffffft.

i used to say i'd never ever ever ever go for lasik. right now i'm not as opposed to it because im so sick of contact lenses. i always get something under the lens when i put them on and i end up taking 3minutes to put them on instead of 30 seconds. however, i am not ready to accept the glare or dryness, or the fact that under the right circumstances, the damn flap will lift right off. oddly, wearing contacts makes my eyes feel less dry. and my refractive error is just perfect to compensate for presbyopia... which will set in in about 20years -_-
hmm hmm. perhaps if joined a hospital and they have staff discounts, i'd be more inclined to go for it.

im still wondering what about my binocular vision is weak thats giving me asthenopia. ive tried monocular viewing wondering if its accommodative. ive tried moving my book closer /further and realised it's more comfortable to hold it close. i thought about the difference between reading with contacts, with spectacles and uncorrected but i don't have any more problems whether im uncorrected or wearing lenses. i know i have craazy-good PFV. NFV is think is normal too. my phoria measurements jump all over the place though. it could be 6XP one moment, then 16EP the next. and im excluding accommodative problems because all those tests are pretty normal.

hmmmm after typing all that im going to conclude that my eyes like to turn in too much and that easily decompensates into an ET, causing diplopia when im tired.
it's odd - i thought myopes tend to be more exo than eso?

im also curious to know why i cant keep my eyes open outdoors in the day. i don't think the size of my pupils are the reason, because i can take >5minutes of 78D without discomfort. speaking of 78D, the other day there was a very light-sensitive woman who claimed the bright light during 78D was making her dizzy because she was anaemic and the doctor was all no no the light has nothing to do with your light-headedness. haha!

thursday we had an AMD lecture. we mustve sat through at least 5 lectures on AMD, but this was the first one where the doctor mentioned CNV! (great timing too, we saw a px with occult CNV last week)
gosh how did everyone just skip the CNV part when covering AMD? and this doctor was the only one to mention focal RPE atrophy too! saw that in clinic too, last week, in a non-AMD px. didnt know what those little bright dots were til james explained.

i need to see more patients with AMD!
i am sadded ive forgotten how the pxs' fundi looked like.

great. no school tmr!
im so silly. i thought i had another packet of squid ink when i'd already used it last week. pffft.

there's a ton of work to be done and so little time!
low vision, binocular vision and pharmacology are the most pressing!

last night i woke to when.can.i.meet.you.again at 1:10am.
lack of spacings and improper use of fullstops aside, it was a totally selfish text msg sent at a totally selfish timing of 1am.
(that msg took 2seconds of my night. one glance at it - noted that there werent words like 'dying', or 'help' or 'school' or 'clinic', the weird punctuation, vaguely aware that it was early morning and some idiot has texted me something stupid, and went back to sleep)

i really hate it when ppl text me in the middle of the night.

there's no way in hell i'd still be awake at 3am unless it's the holidays. it is VERY UNLIKELY that i'll be awake at 1am when it isnt the school holidays. it is almost impossible that i'll be awake at midnight if i had clinic that day.
i must either be really tired, or, if im not, it mustve taken a long time for me to fall asleep. either way i do not want to wake up before the alarm. waking me in the wee hours of morning to send me an UN-URGENT means u secretly hate me and want me to hate you back.

everytime someone does something stupid like that i strangle them in my head. i forgive them if they acknowledge and apologise for breaking text messaging etiquette though. heck, i'll even be empathetic and forgive someone if they saw something really exciting and couldnt keep it to themselves and had to share the good news. a msg like 'OMG I JUST SAW RYUTARO AT (insert location)' is totally acceptable. i probably won't reply immediately (unless we're talking about ryutaro) but at least i won't feel like killing you.

seriously man. why cant ppl just wait??????? doesnt anyone know better than to text at that time? if it were urgent, all the more u shldnt text! u shld call! any message that isnt urgent enough to warrant an IMMEDIATE phoneCALL should be sent as a text msg/call WHEN THE SUN RISES.

omg this is post number 2001! i should start a new blog and archive this.

tonight, i am really appreciating the awesomeness of my existence. hahahah i don't recall the last time i was this narcissistic. wait did i spell that right?
i don't really have anything to blog
im not exactly prepared for tmr's presentation :/ oh well.

perhaps im just really happy i bought 2 pillows from ikea. i like those pillows. the right amount of firm and the right amount of er, contour. right. recently ive taken to sleeping facedown and drooling on my pillow. haha! man it feels good.

i sleep a lot but i still wake up tired. the latest dream i had was me riding a bicycle (with super suspensions!) trying to get away from someone, while trying to recall what conditions can present with leukocoria
WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

i managed cataract, RD, ROP, retinoblastoma, persistant primary hyperplastic vitreous

(in real life)
and on the train home i was wondering what causes weak zonules that can lead to subluxation.
but all i could think of was marfan's.

it seems the other answer i was looking for was pseudoexfoliation.


right now, im trying to recall cataract extraction under what conditions are categorised as 'complicated'. PXF, something about endothelial dystrophy/decompensation? (fuch's?), hmmmmmmmmmmm

i shld also find out what conditions can cause RAPD

a very nice man in his 60s with occult CNV. tried to negotiate for more medication from the doctor but failed. haha! he let me look at his eyes twice so i could get a good view of RPE mottling and atrophy! -happy-

finally the weekend!

ah. so good to have the internet back.

had a short session at the hospital this morning, came back in the afternoon for a nap, then went back to dover for class at 5pm. spent 4 hours travelling today. pfft. why is everything so far from home!!??!?

tuesdays at the hospital are fun!

finally! a decent paper puncher and stapler! really, the small ones are useless. waste of money. can't even staple 10pcs of paper together properly. hole puncher isnt even sharp enough to cut through one sheet of paper. piece of shit.

the best stationery are the type u nick from the office. those are sure to last. even pens. the best ones are free. they will last till the last drop of ink even if you drop them a million times. no point spending $5 on a pen that stops working the first time it falls out of my hands.

well. i just did another FYP subject work and am $20 richer in half an hour. i love FYPs. i'd join drug trials too but no one seems to need me. at least, i didnt hear of any. perhaps there are a few on the noticeboards..

yes, i am one of those people who joins drug trials for money. not just any trial of course. haha!

i think im falling sick. running nose the whole day. now my throat feels itchy and sore. ugh.
i don't know how this can happen! ive been eating so many fruits! a punnet of strawberries a day! overdose, perhaps?
hahahahaha
sleep used to be good man. now i just wake up too many times in the middle of the night. or my backache keeps me up. or i dream of something strange and wake up tired.
this sucks.

gosh this is so annoying! damn floater in my right eye is just 4cm from my visual axis at a distance of 45cm!! annoyinggggggggggggggggg!!!! why why why why cant it be further away? especially since im so easily distracted i think 15% of my attention is on the stupid floater everytime it runs across the page! :@ :@ i wish my vitreous was perfect.

i just watched an episode of a rather lame zombie anime. too many panty shots, corny dialogue, boring story, and an insufferable female character. 1 episode and i wish they'd kill her off already.

oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i know sometimes i speak in a singsong manner. other times i speak in a monotone. i don't know why proper intonation and pitch don't really bother me anymore. i think a large part of it is because of the doctors. doctors and their mandarin. hahahah! sometimes i intentionally speak/write in broken english too. how strange! but i am trying to improve my mandarin (at least my vocabulary). i can't be lousy at both english and mandarin - that would just make me a bit of an idiot, wouldnt it?

there used to be a little english man living in my head. the narrator in my head. i wonder where he went. now it's just me :(

the day didnt start well because a stupid moth interrupted my morning bath. then a freaking cockroach appeared out of nowhere. and then a wasp was buzzing around the door so i didnt dare enter.
too many insects in a day man.

but now i have 7 punnets of strawberries in the fridge woohoo!!
a punnet a day! woohoo!

heheheeehheee

a new pillow from ikea! yayyyyyyyyy!!
2 grapefruit for $1.15! !!

and sotong for my squid ink pasta!! cant wait !!

youjou-han shinwa taikei is an anime. i just finished the last episode. it's the one with super fast dialogue (really, the voice actor must have set some kind of record for talking so fast) i wonder why he doesnt end up biting his own tongue. perhaps he did on occasion..

episode 11 was cool! it tied up the previous 10 episodes and everything.
i was wondering why the ending was the opening in this episode. and was pleasantly surprised when the episode ended with the opening by AKFG! hahahahah i must say the last episode was my fav of the lot.
i can't say i understand the show completely - i'll need to read some kind of synopsis- but im really pleased with this ending.
an enjoyable anime with interesting animation (technique). story seems like there's more to it than meets the eye, which is just the way i like it :D

makes me want to try that neko ramen too.

went jogging last night. so refreshing to jog in a light drizzle. after half a day of rain the path was full of silt and drowning earthworms. gross
when it doesnt rain, the path is full of snails.
when it rains, i have to watch out for earthworms.

i didnt get muscle ache after all that jogging! well, it wasnt much, but my legs were pretty jellyish after that. backache is back though. and jogging gives me a headache.
pffft.

the 3 ulcers on my lip have coalesced into this disgusting lesion that looks like i have some horrible viral infection. (of course i don't)

isnt it amazing that even though the mouth is so full of bacteria, ulcers do not become festering lesions oozing pus after a few days? while any other cut of similar severity elsewhere on the body would be looking mighty gross now?

i think my body is underproducing adrenal steroids, because i have an oversensitive immune system, i have exaggerated inflammatory responses and i scar so easily. shitty body. and i have lousy metabolism! what the hellllllll?

ive been shopping a lot. online only of course, (95$ on gmarket, which was very reasonable considering i bought 4 pieces of clothing) because i rarely find anything i like in shops. and i still want to get stuff from ASOS and f21!

tch. why do my half hour naps in the mid-afternoon always end up becoming 3 hr naps till 730?
now im not sleepy enough to turn in.
pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

ooh i just noticed i clench my jaw a lot (usually when im sitting here) and it is probably the cause of many of my tension headaches. hah. it isnt just bad posture from using my laptop so long!
right now i am so tired of that tight feeling i wish i could remove my jaw -_-

my gmarket stuff arrived in singapore just over an hour ago wheeeeeeee
cmon deliver it to me noooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

clinic was fun. 6 patients! glaucoma and AMD. old people. i need to learn more dialect phrases!