Naze Ikiru no ka

2010-11-24T07:48:00.000+08:00

change of blog add!

http://thirteenrabbits.blogspot.com/

2010-11-21T23:18:00.002+08:00

1 hr 45 min of nonstop jogging awesomeness man!!!

my ankles WILL be screaming bloody murder tomorrow if they had mouths.

for the first time i jogged till my legs went numb.

anyway the sky was really pretty today. clear, full moon. almost as bright as day.

omg pain

2010-11-11T18:24:00.005+08:00

so i just got back from the the dentist's.

teeth whitening.

shit. i cannot describe the amount of sensitivity im feeling right now. *grimace*

i have some pretty strong painkillers to be taken after meals, but how am i supposed to take them if i cant eat cuz of the sensitivity??? T_T

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhh it is like a cruel cycle of painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn T_T T_T

im just drinking milk from a straw. i cant pour in any cereal cuz its cold milk and its gonna hurt if i don't use a straw. and i dun know how cereal can be sucked up with a straw. and it hurtsssssssssss

it hurtsssssssssssssssssssss more now than during the procedure itself!!

most probably because the initial dose of analgesics have worn off la. i took 2 pills at 1pm and its already 630pm now.

oh. yea my teeth are whiter now but not as white as i'd like them to be. considering the take-home kit as an add-on.

Uprising

2010-10-31T11:15:00.002+08:00

in the song Uprising by Muse, they mentioned a fat cat..

had a heart attack.

did i hear wrong?

isnt that interesting. taking the lyrics literally, has anyone seen a cat suffer a heart attack? why do i see a fat cat clutching its chest in pain? this is serious!

i need to do my homework. but the notes are in such a mess, the timetable is in such a mess. i just dont want to deal with it.

2010-10-23T00:15:00.001+08:00

hehehehehe

got my favourite doctor today

yayayayayayay

clinic was fun.

stranger things

2010-10-21T16:23:00.003+08:00

someone asked me if i had a tattoo on my ankle since i was always wearing jeans and pants. haha.

it feels so good to be able to print again

2010-10-19T10:21:00.004+08:00

YEA INK!!!!!!!!

the ink has arrived!!!!

i cant believe im so excited just because there's INK!!!!

CHEAP INK!!!

i bought one of those generic ink refills for the printer. it was $40 for 3 bottles of black and a bottle of cyan, magenta and yellow each! those things normally cost 60-70$ man!

yea ink ink ink ink ink ink

5 clones

2010-10-19T00:51:00.006+08:00

OMGGGGGGGGGG i want clones

i need clones

i need TWO to study. this self study semester is gonna kill me. why ah. your tuition fees are sky high in uni, but u do more self studying than when your school fees were like, so low i don't even know how much it was in primary/secondary school.

i need one to revise for the practical exam

i need TWO for FYP

and the original me can just enjoy life.

pfft

2010-10-17T23:24:00.002+08:00

new semester starts tmr.

the last semester starts tmr.

the dreaded last semester. full of modules i suck at. and godawful practical exams. and more clinic. i don't know why i suddenly suck at clinic. i never had a problem in the past, suddenly i cant even do a proper refraction. why man, why cant the patients just give me an accurate, reliable response? is it that difficult? why is everyone over-thinking things? WHY? im asking u which is clearer, not asking u to choose between your sister and brother who gets pushed into the snakepit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

second week i have my pract test at the hospital.

shit.

i think i should try rehearsing.

spiders

2010-10-11T12:21:00.005+08:00

too many spiders in my dream. thanks to the shieldtox-sand cockroach encounter, this time i dreamt of shieldtox too! and promptly sprayed everything. i don't know if the spiders died though. according to some dream dictionary killing spiders is bad. meh. i think it is way off anyway. if anything, shieldtox meant i was making progress in my life. HAHA weapon upgrade! i think the next one should have a flamethrower that would be the holy grail. and after that would be me becoming the Human Torch! that way i'll fry any spider that comes within 2 feet of me. hahaha thats reassuring.

there was a whitish spider on a roll of scotch tape just now. it was one of those calm non-jumpy spiders. i am thankful for that. not even a vacuum cleaner nozzle right over it can suck it out of my roll of scotch tape. it crawled into an even tighter space. what a stubborn spider

in the end, what worked was dropping it from 1 metre off the ground. it scuttled off out of my room. yippee. now life can go on as usual.

wldve been cool to see what would happen if i dropped it into water.

i am quite useless on my own

2010-10-11T01:11:00.003+08:00

i need to plastic wrap my book. im waiting for someone to wrap it for me because i suck at even remotely craft-y stuff.

i guess my book is never gonna get its plastic clothes.

dad returned from Prague on saturday evening! i think he went to Hungary too. he says the trip was full of wind, rain, gothic buildings, a horse show where horses sat on their bums like dogs, and a variety of fruit trees... he bought REALLY expensive chocolates (maths fail) the kind of expensive that you can't indulge in every night, but can only take one every few days (at least thats what i intend to do). but damn, expensive chocolates are just so much nicer than cheap choc. my tongue isnt sensitive enough to pinpoint exactly what about expensive chocolate trumps cheap choc.. i'll just say it has something to do with the richness of the taste. yea. richness. $$$.

dad also brought home some frostbite around his shins. lol. apparently jeans and regular socks/shoes arent good enough for him. he has a newfound appreciation for boots.

he says the best food there is cake. hahah i would like to indulge in some sinful desserts too

hungry

2010-10-07T00:52:00.003+08:00

hungryyyyyyyyy ah hungryyyyyyyy a tuna sandwich would be good right now.

it is true. subway subs are getting smaller. damn! the ones in school are still good and fat, the ones outside of school have got to be 20% smaller in volume. less veggies, less bread! what is this?!?! it is more expensive AND smaller! that is like expensive x expensive!

bah. i had a veggie delight at 6pm. i am so so so so so hungry now. i want more bread. i love their breads.. . someone make me a sandwich! the other day the guy working at subway in school laughed at us for eating there 2 days in a row. he mightve remembered we ordered the same thing too. i don't see whats so amusing though. i love my veggies and my bread

i think im losing my hearing. what a scary thought. i don't know if i really am going deaf or if ppl behind counters are just speaking really softly. :S i hope it is the latter.

i'll take good care of my hearing now, please come back!

time flies when youre having fun. im having so much 'fun' measuring the retina, but time is still flying by.i am impressed by photoshop CS 5 extended. CS is so different from regular PS. i feel like ive been living in the stone ages

later later later

2010-10-06T01:18:00.003+08:00

i went to curl my hair. i hope i dont look any older than i do. i think my wisdom shows on my face. HaHAHAHA

im expecting my gmarket parcel to arrive ~~tmr~~ later! oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

it is already in singapore. i was tracking it. it touched down in singapore just before 5pm yesterday. i should wake up earlier in case i miss the postman. these days i can sleep through ... really loud noises.. which is weird, considering i would be awoken by the slightest sound in the past.

reading

2010-09-30T00:29:00.004+08:00

helllllllloooooooooo i think im going crazy from all this reading. well, maybe not really. i feel like i have so many many many things in my brain but i can't get my thoughts organised.

and im only trying to write up the introduction+objectives! i read some, get a rough idea, write some, then read somemore, and get another idea... it never ends! which is a good/bad thing that i enjoy/hate at the same time. this is all very paradoxical. getting ideas is good. reading the papers is enjoyable. bad that im a scatterbrain. hate that i cant concentrate!!!

i know it is because i open too many tabs and too many articles at one time. but i cant wait because i tend to forget to do whatever it is later! shittttttttttttttt man i need a different approach.

thank god for endnote. thank god for UM's institutional access to journals! but for some weird reason i cant download any articles from BJO or something. i know i have access to that journal! maybe its the cookies. i don't know why im only having trouble with this now. i don't believe it was an issue in the past!

i hope we figure out how to use the stupid/intelligent image software!

(it's stupid because i cant figure out how to use it, it is intelligent because it is a nifty tool...if i ever get round to using it)

2010-09-22T18:20:00.005+08:00

i have a short memory.

or maybe thats just an excuse. perhaps i am not concentrating properly. i keep getting this feeling like im soooo close to making a connection, but before i establish that i lose my train of thought. and that's the end of that :( i hate this feeling!

yes. that must be it. i am too distracted. i am only giving this article-reading 50% of my attention. the remaining is split between the telly, which im not even watching but its not like i can switch off my hearing, the unpleasant 2-day old ache in my head, and worrying about the exams, the pract test, and FYP.

i hate that worrying part. it is absolutely useless, it is ruining my mood, which is ruining my holidays, and i am SURE it is one of the reasons why my exam results will suck.

i am also sure the reason why i have a 2-day-old headache is because of all this stupid worrying.

plans

2010-09-15T20:37:00.004+08:00

I CANT WAIT!!!

FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!

last day of exams!!!!!!!

things i want to do when im freeeee!!!

clean my room. ah ha ha ha ha time to organize my notes!
go eat some japanese food or something. something nice.
jog jog jog jog jog jog jog jog jog jog jog or something.
shop shop shop shop online! gmarket!!!!
oh yea wait for the opportune moment to do something about my hair
and then maybe worry about the hospital pract exam that's coming up in 1.5 months. :( thinking about it gives me butterflies.
damn. i just rmb'd i have fyp.

:(

2010-09-14T01:02:00.003+08:00

horrible. horrible exams. this time is really really bad.

i hope pharmacology on wednesday will give me some comfort.

thank goodness i can still draw stuff to remember. pls pls pls pls pls let it be glaucoma eyedrops! or analgesics, or factors affecting drug use and response. :(

i think i am the next picasso

2010-09-12T00:25:00.004+08:00

Riku says:

eh blackie

Black says:

hey yo kuku

wasssuppppsss

Riku writes:

Black says:

wat

wat's tt

Riku writes:

Riku says:

HAHA

Black says:

LOL

why blackie must be a dog

Riku says:

standard dog name what

ok lor i change

Riku writes:

Riku says:

HAHAHAEHAHAHAHAEHAE

Black says:

....

thanks arrrrr

Riku says:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

maybe it doesnt follow conventional mathematical rules..

2010-09-11T00:56:00.009+08:00

wa. i feel some weakness in my left hand. i overuse my left hand when typing.

it's all mum's fault. she made me write with my left hand when i was young. i think i was supposed to be a rightie. now im left handed but right dominant. kinda screws things up a little. my left hand is for all things fine and detailed. it has no power at all. while my right hand is for all things crude. there's no balance in my life! hahah

well i just typed 2500 words in 1 hour 15minutes, answering 4 essay questions. wow it is amazing how wonderful short term memory is. i hope i don't forget all this tmr. or till thursday at least.

if you are given 45minutes per question and one question is 50 marks, how long does your essay have to be? i think it should be under 1.5 pages. i managed 2 questions in under 1.5 pages, but the other 2 are 2 pages long each. im very sure something is not necessary! but i don't know what!!!!!!!!

on one hand i am very sure the answers only need to be 1.5 pages long. on the other hand, where the hell are the 50marks hiding??????

the class test was 35minutes long. 1 essay. 1.2pages and 10 FREAKING MARKS ONLY!!!

pffffffft. oh that paper i think was only 10% of our module. wish it was 100%.

everytime i study for exams i think 'damn, this better pay off'

2010-09-10T00:24:00.004+08:00

i like studying for pharmacology. it's like a story. it's a shitload of things to memorise, but it's still like a story i can regurgitate.and the drugs have got such exotic names. benzodiazepines, isoniazid, azelastine, aminoglycosides, alphagan, bimatoprost, latanoprost, diamox, digoxin! it's like singing a song.

i do not like studying for binocular vision. it isnt like a story at all. it is enough to give me a nerve palsy.

i do not like binocular vision because it is what i call artsy. vision therapy is artsy. it is artsy with some structure, but still very much artsy. oh, by artsy i mean hmmm not very structured? errrrrr yea.

im still trying to figure out what topics i shld study for pharmacology dammit. i cant decide.

analgesics, glaucoma drugs are confirmed.

i need 2 more!

will it be ocular side effects of systemic drugs? will it be antibiotics?

oh wait. that is 2 more.

haha.

it would be less if the questions didnt combine lectures. tricky people..

2010-09-08T23:57:00.004+08:00

i wish i had caller id on my mobile.

hmmmm actually i don't need a phone. it is a handy camera, an mp3 player, an alarm clock. but i hardly make calls or text! which is a damn waste.

someone called me just now.

someone i didnt want calling me. someone i didnt want contacting me. someone who thinks i am very free. someone who thinks i can send her off even though its smack in the middle of my exam period (what a bold request). someone whose text messages i havent replied in a while. i even blocked her feeds on facebook. in fact, without those facebook updates (her neverending status updates that make no sense because the whole sentence structure is rubbish) i'd forgotten about her. she asked me over the phone 'i thought you'd forgotten me!' and i was 'no la, just been really busy'. which isnt a lie. because i did suddenly remember her existence yesterday, and i have been busy because uni isnt a walk in the park. such a needy person. i can't stand needy people. she doesnt seem to understand english too. because once i sent her a text msg: please don't sms me after 11pm. thanks. (after she smsed me at 1 or 2am- yep i mentioned her in that blog post) her reply was 'oh are you having lesson?' -_-

omg woman, take a hint! leave me alone! i don't have time to entertain you, or advise you, or listen to your problems! why don't u work it out on your own? I DID!! or DO SOMETHING with your life so you cant even afford to wallow in self pity! why are your facebook updates always about how life is unfair, how humans make mistakes and youre only human, and how you should be strong and love yourself?

since u know so well exactly whats screwed up in your life, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! and it isnt like your own friends arent giving you good advice! they are willing to lend a hand but youre too busy whining to grab it!

pfft. sometimes i want to throw a handful of antidepressants/antipsychotics in her face. i do believe she's got unhealthy paranoia. she thinks her teacher hates her. the school counselor doesnt take her seriously. she even thinks that teacher has a relationship with her classmate. wtf. arent alarm bells going off in your head too? perhaps the most useful thing i can tell her is to recommend her to go to changi general hospital. the psychiatrist there is a very nice man. and the hospital seems nice and empty. (relatively). i think the psych department is quite small. haha! which is odd, considering how many menopausal women have depression. or whatever.

well i spent 3 hours watching 9 episodes of that nurin_____ lol i can't remember the name. it's really nice! anime of course. cant wait for episode 11!

2010-09-08T14:38:00.002+08:00

another disaster. disasterrrrrr

low vision was a disasterrrrrrr

next paper is monday! binocular vision

and then pharmacology on wednesday

and finally contact lenses on friday!

i havent started on contact lenses at all. definitely something that needs preparation, but nothing useful can be found in the lecture notes. worse than ocular disease.

phamarcology, as far as i know, is a memorise and regurgitate paper. got to pick the right chapters to study... glaucoma medications? adverse reactions to drugs? should i do factors affecting drug response and antibiotics? hmmmmmm im pretty sure antiinflammatory/analgesics will be one of the questions, but that topic is difficult to answer (although easy to memorise) unlike antibiotics, which is easy to memorise and answer!

really, when i answer those questions i feel like i am vomiting info. in fact, i have to write very fast because im afraid once i mentally vomit i won't be able to recall anything after that. it happens.

i hope its glaucoma medications and adverse reactions! good thing it is choose 2 out of 5 qns..

2010-09-07T00:44:00.007+08:00

i swear that is the last time i'll study for ocular disease

no point studying for that paper

the slide test was wtf.

shitty resolution on the photos. no idea what the hell i was looking at. it was seriously shitty quality. they printed in color, but they used regular paper. when u print color on regular paper, it kinda blotches a lot! the ink just spreads out as it is absorbed by the paper! otherwise the printer they used has horrible resolution!

i think the slide test bit's gonna do me in because i have no idea how much i was supposed to write. it was 2marks per sub-question. 3 parts per question. thats about 6marks / qn then.

it was

"list the signs" 2marks

"list diffferential diagnoses" 2marks

"what is your management" 2marks

can you be more specific like give me a number? HOW MANY ddx DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 2? 4?

wtf.

and the part asking for management was shit. if i cannot give u a diagnosis, how can i manage?

hello?

was i supposed to list the mx for ALL the ddx i just listed?

see there was this photo of papoilloedema

that's what i suspected. that's what my classmates said their answers were.

ok fine. (u should see the photo they provided. it was just a really blurry whitish 'starburst' kinda pattern over the ONH. but see, the whole fundus was blurry too, because of the shitty resolution. was it a papilloedema? was it peripapillary atrophy?

ok. so i put my ddx as

papilloedema, myelinated nerve fibers (again, how many was i supposed to put?) so i threw in buried disc drusen as well. perhaps i shouldve wrote tilted disc too.

next,

management.

FOR WHAT CONDITION?

WHAT IS THE DIAGNOSIS?

EITHER WAY, if it REALLY IS PAPILLOEDEMA, my management would be to refer the px to the hospital for an MRI/CT/Spinal tap/B scan to rule out buried disc drusen. is the question expecting me to pretend im an ophthalmologist and say things like 'tell the px to lose weight! thats why she's got raised intracranial pressure!' or 'reassure the px? because it is just buried disc drusen'.

am i supposed to be an optom or an ophthalmologist? im confused!

and this is a 2mark question! how much should i write???

what the hell man. REALLY. i am very upset! i hope they don't expect 4 answers for every 2mark question or i will freaking fail.

panic mode

2010-09-04T00:18:00.010+08:00

oh no no no
it is saturday
first paper ocular disease is on monday!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't even know what i don't know!
well, actually i don't know a lot. and ocular disease is so broad! nothing u study for ever comes out for the exam! T_T

the other thing im worried about is how im gonna wake up at 630am for the 9am paper. i don't wake up till 2pm these days! even if i turn in at 3am!!
will i even fall asleep?!
worrying about sleep is no good. it prevents u from falling asleep!
T_T

ok im gonna set my alarm for 8am tonight. try to normalise my sleep pattern T_T

hmmm the practical test at ttsh isnt so soon, but
should i start hoping for a diabetic retinopathy/maculopathy case? i mean, it is impossible to miss haemorrhages/exudates, right? i dont think i want AMD unless there's a shitload of drusen or very obvious grey-green CNVM and someone tells me the px has metamorphopsia.
ah ahah ahahaha
i hope no glaucoma either - i always forget to check ISNT. but the worst is CD ratio. yes thats supposed to be common sense but sometimes it isnt so clear cut.
i must make sure i get stereoview!

OH NO WAIT
i don't think i want diabetic maculopathy. what if the px has CSME and i miss it! ahhhhhhh
stereoviewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!
what if what if what if the px has had PRP but that was done eons ago and the scar creep and everything makes everything difficult to recognise? what if the px has a very tesellated fundus and i can't make out what's what? NOOOOOOOOOOO why can't everyone's retina be as pigmented as mineeeee

what if i miss a PVD? what if i miss an RD? what if i miss a retinopexy? omggggggggggg

oh no no no
what if i have to do pupil reaction?
what if i miss a marcus gunn? oh no no no no
i must rmb to look properly for dilatation! T_T
i do think i will need some kind of sedative before the test. i get nervous just looking at the schedule. im (one of ) the last students of the day! and we get like 5minutes to see the px
15 minutes for the whole assessment which includes presentation and discussion with the ophthalmologist T_T
omg please give me a patient who speaks english or mandarin and isnt too sensitive to light!!! PLEASE GIMME A PX WHO FIXATES!!! T_T

im stressing myself out because year 2 results account for 67% of the course. T_T
i need to chill. chilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

craving

2010-09-03T00:34:00.002+08:00

i should stay away from durians. at times i feel like im just about to fall sick
can't have that during the exam period!
still
i would really really like some gooey nutty chocolate brownies

it will be over very soon

2010-09-01T01:42:00.006+08:00

the internet is making a fool of me.

when i want to blog, blogger won't load.
when i want to access flashcards, stupid cards won't load but now blogger will. so here i am blogging.

i am losing hair. really. everytime i run my fingers thru my hair a few strands fall out. so scary. i think exams really taking a toll on my head. :(

ive got it all planned out
later tonight i'll have to take a sleeping pill so i can sleep at a normal timing and attend tmr's OD lecture and LV presentation. haha.

instead of sleeping at 7am. bloody hell. i have successfully screwed up my internal clock.

i just heard dad leave the house. he's probably gone for a jog or something? it is 610am. -_-
and here i am pretty awake. worrying about the ocular disease paper.

it is kinda annoying to sleep when the sun's rising. very bright.

2010-08-31T20:11:00.002+08:00

oh no oh no oh no

no one is home
so it's the only time i can turn up the volume
but but but but one very dangerous side effect of turning up the volume
is being able to hear the bass. oh the bass. the bass. the bass.
it tugs on my heart and makes my fingers itch

today is a good lid day

2010-08-31T18:27:00.003+08:00

...it is a pity i am not going out

yay my levator is normal. most of the time i feel like my eyes are half closed. and i swear, they really are smaller than they should be. not half the 'normal' size, but still, it is significant!
most days i don't know why, my right lid is slightly lower than the left.
and then on days im lucky, they are equal!

see i knew it. i knew i wasnt just imagining things when i felt my eyes were tired and droopy all the time.

i don't think this has anything to do with how many hours i sleep though. because i am a little tired now. slept at 6am. mum burst into my room at 1130am announcing LUNCH!! and again at 1230pm WAKE UP ALREADY!!

ok back to studying. it is amazing how i can read notes that ive gone through so many times and still find some new information

i feel like a crazy person

2010-08-29T20:03:00.006+08:00

can you believe ive got trouble differentiating 'renal' and 'hepatic'?
damn.
why cant they just say kidney and liver?!

ive taken to pacing around the house while reading my notes and talking to myself. i believe it helps me remember things better. but i really feel like a crazy person

anyway... there's something strange about the computer.

either im hitting keyboard shortcuts that i nv knew existed, or my keyboard is wonky...
i just increased the volume of media player without touching the volume dial.
i am a miracle worker!

sadded

2010-08-28T23:55:00.001+08:00

only one meal for me today because i woke up at 2pm.
had 'lunch' around 4pm.
and my parents don't feel like having dinner.

putting things simply

2010-08-28T03:47:00.003+08:00

whoa i kinda understand visual field defects now. fingers crossed i'll still remember it after 12hours!

yayyyyyyy i have simplified the neuro-ophthalmology lecture to uh.. very few things, skipping all that anatomy rubbish. now it's just congenital+acquired causes of cranial nerve 3/4/6 palsies, and their special syndromes! :S

i hope i have not oversimplified, as i am wont to do
:S :S :S :S :S

i hope my intuition is accurate man. some days it's just way off. like yesterday, when i was playing scratch and win on facebook. damn double or nothing.

2010-08-27T14:44:00.004+08:00

whoa i just realised the reason why i always feel there's something blocking (almost half of) my superior visual field is my eyelashes. i should curl them. im positive it will make a significant difference.
HAHA!

glaukomflecken
iris atrophy
cortical cataract
irregular pupil
PAS

and adenovirus 8, 19 are responsible for epidemic viral keratoconjunctivitis.

2010-08-27T02:13:00.000+08:00

omgomgomgomg
friday already?!?!!?!
wth? where did the week go????????

freaking out

2010-08-26T03:11:00.007+08:00

i can feel insects crawling all over me now

gross gross grosssssss

tiny moths i can deal with but not this

not this

omg gross. i can't study. i cant sleep.

gag

oh god.

ive trapped it in a box with a plastic lid. i cant stop staring at it

it is giving me goosebumps

it has been giving me goosebumps for the past 5 minutes at least

but i cant stop staring

it is mesmerizing.

i saw it lick its legs. legs 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 + 2 feelers and round its eyes

wtf?!

WTF?!?

is this a praying mantis? a baby one? oh god. i cant stop saying oh god. look at those eyes

that oblong head. protruding eyes. beady black eyes. weird arm thingies. exploring the box. tap tap tap. and those things look sharp. *goosebumps* wtf wtf is wrong with its mouth!? why do their mouths keep moving????!!!!??!

:((((((((((((((

i swear man insects are just weird. they are weird and disgusting and should not be allowed to fly around.

i just cant deal with insects and spiders or flying things or things that move suddenly or things that are sneaky

unpredictable flight patterns man.

i had a dream a few nights ago

it was full of little green larvae like/worm like thingies.

all over my hand

oh god

i was squirting 70% whatever alcohol on them to kill them.

er yes.

wtf.

please please don't invade my dreams

this is news to me

2010-08-25T02:50:00.002+08:00

Antidepressants only marginally better than placebo??!!

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/727323?sssdmh=dm1.633694&src=nldne&uac=143990BX

A very simple way of thinking

2010-08-25T00:02:00.010+08:00

today hasnt been a totally useless day
as i said last week
revision is a waiting game
when enough time passes, things will fall into place nicely

and today sth clicked.

still
i am so sick of low vision.

*

i noticed the things ppl post on facebook (status updates) are so emo. ohmygod people, if u lower your expectations (better yet, have no expectations) of others, u will not be disappointed! save yourself all that anguish! alternatively, eat more fish! it seems like people think they are living in an ideal world! they expect everything to be perfect! except things arent going perfectly so theyre all flipping out! hahahahha! it is quite amusing to watch. it's always the same people..

anyway

i don't understand why people keep complaining about how horrible living in singapore is.
it really isnt that expensive. i actually think it is quite cheap. im so happy i can get a decent lunch for $2.50-ish . well, who would say no to cheapER? the government isnt that oppressive (what are you going to do with all that 'freedom' anyway? can u run the country better?). local TV is rubbish but thank god for cable and internet. we've got wonderful public transport though it is crowded at times (but how many cities are squeeze-free?) im just glad i don't have to wait 1hr for the bus. people are a little unfriendly but a big part of it is the whole conservative asian thing, i think. people could be a lot more courteous/ gracious. that takes time and with the influx of foreigners and their own quirks, i think the authorities have a lot of work to do.
my only complaint is it's too hot and humid and too small. tiny. overcrowded. i want to live somewhere with wide open spaces. :( i don't want to hear my neighbours arguing. i don't want to hear my neighbours' dogs barking. i don't want to hear them talking on the phone. i don't want to hear their radios, or hear them yell GOALLLLLLL during the world cup. i don't want to hear children playing. i don't want to hear babies crying. of course, i also don't want them to hear my horrible sing-alongs to AKFG. most of all, i want to see a vast expanse of sky. nothing beats the night sky.
if singapore was further from the equator and like 1000x larger it would be perfect. (haha that's so not singapore)
we can afford to manufacture more so things can be cheaper!!

i do notice something amusing tho. while locals like to complain and complain and complain, when it comes to national day, everyone becomes a patriot.

2010-08-24T01:12:00.003+08:00

i need to study. stop playing games. stop doodling on the screen. i am never gonna beat the stupid computer at chess.

chess.

2010-08-23T18:24:00.002+08:00

i hate how the computer knows exactly what im planning to do.

phenylephrine?

2010-08-22T22:41:00.002+08:00

hahahaha i cant believe im doing this but
i was writing 'alphaagonist' on paint and i thought it looks damn cool la HAHAHAHA

alright.

im worried about ocular disease 2 paper. i don't have a complete set of notes, everything is really disorganised, the notes are kinda messy, and there is a big chunk i don't understand regarding the optic nerve head. it's been one week, and the only thing i remember from that group of lectures is that optic disc pallor doesnt equate to optic atrophy.

when there is pallor + defective visual function and primary optic nerve dysfunction (neuropathy) it is called optic atrophy. wth? ?!?!?!

optic disc pallor suggests optic nerve disease, or retinal disease. it should be accompanied by defective visual function.

2010-08-22T00:01:00.003+08:00

new PC. new PC. new PC. 23inch HD screen. 23inch HD screen. 23inch HD screen. almost a 10inch improvement from the laptop. finally can see the screen without my spectacles AND without having to lean forward! feels a little like being a low vision patient. wow. my parents are so good to me. not because they bought me this PC but because they'll send me to sch-related things that happen over the weekend.

so sian

2010-08-20T00:32:00.001+08:00

so sian so sian! another week has passed
revision has been excruciatingly slow-going this week!
the horror!

:(

complaining

2010-08-17T02:13:00.007+08:00

this is so vexing!!!!
i hate it when my notes don't make sense!!!!
after all the papers ive sat for, i realise that revision is a waiting game. in the beginning i am clueless. but i can only keep reading and dwelling on it. when sufficient time passes, all of a sudden something clicks and everything falls into place. or nothing happens and i enter the exam hall hoping whatever i don't get won't be in the paper.

most of the time, i don't understand the notes because i fell asleep in class. and it's not like i can help it. makes me appreciate that 4 hours of sleep really isnt enough for a 4hour clinic + 5hr lecture day especially when the last lecture ends at 7pm. when im sleepy it is impossible to stay awake cuz my mind's a buzz and my eyes are crossed and even though i try so hard to listen, i only hear. and nothing makes sense. it doesnt help that lecturers tend to fall into the following categories:
1) has a hypnotic voice that will make students drowsy after 10minutes.
2) has so much info to squeeze in 3 hours she speeds on a like a bullet train so i can't keep up so i switch off.
3) is really just presenting something really boring.
4) doesnt speak in complete sentences. i get the feeling that this lecturer relies a lot on telepathy.
5) makes really lousy notes
6) simply, arent that good at explaining things.

i know it's not nice to complain abt them, but i think this is justified. there are good ones, and there are really good ones that i would vote for if they joined politics/that i would hope were my doctors if i ever needed eye surgery, and then there are lousy ones. to be honest, i can only think of 1 full time lecturer who speaks well and has good notes and can keep my attention for 2 hours. the rest of them are guest lecturers (ie the ophthalmologists) although there are one or two who totally lost the class (or was it just me?) somewhere at the optic nerve head.

1am

2010-08-15T00:50:00.002+08:00

1am is a lot better than < 11pm
it is so much more quiet. no more screaming children - they are fast asleep
no more chatting adults - most of them are sleeping too.
no more chatter. no more screaming. no more laughing. no more tvs, no more radio. no more traffic. and the last train has left the station so it's quiet too!
calm and quiet and cool. how nice.

im curious to know how many hours i spend on this chair every day. time flies when revising. it's like one hour per lecture!
i feel sorry for my eyes

enough low vision!

the best thing about studying is im so busy i don't even think about food, i don't even feel hungry.
the bad thing about studying is ciliary muscle spasm
the worst thing about studying at night are the insects that are attracted to my lamp. the little green ones will bite, too

it doesnt have to rain

2010-08-14T14:18:00.004+08:00

i am very content at this moment because low vision is making sense, the sky is overcast so it isnt too bright, the wind is cool and not too strong so my notes arent flying all over the place, and my parents have been considerate, watching tv in their room so they don't disturb me.

i forget that ocular disease isnt just a pathology module

2010-08-13T22:39:00.011+08:00

i am studying for ocular disease. a lecture on cranial nerve palsies and nystagmus.
i must admit i have no idea what the hell is going on. i might as well be reading japanese. or chinese.
did u know cranial nerves originate in paired nuclei within the midbrain and pons? axons course as fascicles through the brainstem parenchyma, then run for variable distances in the subarachnoid space, passes through the cavernous sinus, and enter the orbit to supply the EOMs

and the oculomotor nerve enters the subarachnoid space forwards and laterally between the PCA (posterior cerebral artery) above and SCeA (i think that means superior cerebellar artery) below to run briefly alongside the PComA?

i didnt know that. and even though i have an image of a skinny nerve falling from the sky onto a field thats supposed to be the subarachnoid space and it's running next to his buddy the posterior communicating artery, i know absolutely nothing is going to be retained in my brain.
or maybe i will, because that skinny nerve just looks so comical in my imagination..

i only pray that the professor is a really nice person (actually he is. an unassuming kind of guy) and he put in all that info just For our info, and the only thing he expects us to know for the exam is how to recognise congenital nystagmus, because no treatment is needed for that, and anyone who comes in with a third nerve palsy must be sent for a scan asap because it might be an aneurysm.
i guess PCerebralA, SCerebellarA, PCommA arent such good buddies with skinny ol' third nerve after all.

oh wow. i just got to the end of the lecture on nystagmus and i'm very glad. congenital nystagmus is really short!

C onvergence and eye closure reduces nystag
O scillopsia absent
N ull point possible
G aze direction may change nystag direction
E qual movements in OU (conjugate)
N ear VA better than distace VA cuz nystag less in convergence
I nverted OKN response
T orticollis possible
A bsent in sleep
L atent nystag possible

this better be an exam question!!

what, can't young people be tired too?

2010-08-12T23:15:00.006+08:00

the other day an auntie shot me a very cross look on the train.
i saw her staring at my boots, then when she met my eyes she frowned. a very deep very cross frown. i couldnt decide if she was frowning at my boots (cuz people tend to judge by appearance. and i wear too much black for anyone to think im not just another school dropout) or because i didnt give up my seat 'to someone who needs it more'
i was going to ask her if she wanted my seat, but when she frowned i decided the old witch could continue standing. it's not like she was a frail old woman. even if she were i rather not give my seat up to someone so unpleasant.

some people, not just old ones, will be treated a lot better if they were nicer.

i rmb that time i was in secondary school waiting for the bus. the bus had just arrived so i didnt bother joining the queue. i just stood at the side waiting for the rest to board. then this 40something yr old asshole says 'can't you join the queue?!' again with a very cross look on his face.
and in my head i was going WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF it's not like i was jumping the queue!! DO I LOOK LIKE IM SQUEEZING TO GET UP THE BUS? IM WAITING HERE CANT U SEE U BLIND PIECE OF SHIT? ' and it was a doubledecker bus so there were PLENTY of seats and not so many passengers anyway! and right before my eyes was an old granny boarding the bus - and yes she wasnt in the queue. the injustice!
well i didnt argue with him cuz i was too timid. what a waste.

see? see? double standards! young people get bullied while no one dares to correct old farts!

after so many years i still feel indignant
im going to make it a point to just tell people off when im not in the wrong. im not going to stand for this bullshit!

2010-08-04T19:10:00.001+08:00

a very good day at the hospital today! 8 patients! yay!

2010-08-02T22:05:00.003+08:00

i had a very pleasant dream. i was swimming in the ocean. it was a nice calm ocean. in fact, it didnt feel very deep. perhaps it was a 2metre deep ocean. but it was really blue, and i had conveniently left out all sorts of marine life in my dream (otherwise it wldve been a nightmare). so it was just a calm blue body of water. but it was an ocean. and i had fun swimming.

and then i was sort of skating in 1-foot deep water. to a restaurant in a mall in the middle of the ocean in the middle of nowhere.

so wonderful, my dreamworld.

it was a scary moment

2010-08-01T18:35:00.002+08:00

oh my
for a split second i thought the people i knew were so very very boring. so boring that a heavy feeling of fatigue seemed to wash over me. it was depressing and tugged at the very depths of my soul. probably.

2010-07-23T23:59:00.011+08:00

yes! finally i cleaned my room. this area must be 3kg lighter now that it is relatively dust-free! i exaggerate of course. it is far from dust free. but it is enough not to trigger any allergies. i can see the surface of my desk now. i can see the top of the cabinet. i do not see a layer of dust on every horizontal (or otherwise) surface! rejoice! i have procrastinated long enough!

allergies aside, what made me tidy up was the fact that the mess was turning from an organised mess into a disorganised one. i hope i remember where i keep my stuff now. the biggest downside to cleaning is re-learning where stuff are. it will be a week of opening wrong drawers, looking into wrong boxes and displacing things again.

i never stop hoping that one day, every item i own will be tagged. and when i forget where it is, i can call it, it rings and just like that, problem solved. GPS precise to 1 foot would be great too.

oh. i forgot to clean the filter of my AC. pfffffft.

i used to say i'd never ever ever ever go for lasik. right now i'm not as opposed to it because im so sick of contact lenses. i always get something under the lens when i put them on and i end up taking 3minutes to put them on instead of 30 seconds. however, i am not ready to accept the glare or dryness, or the fact that under the right circumstances, the damn flap will lift right off. oddly, wearing contacts makes my eyes feel less dry. and my refractive error is just perfect to compensate for presbyopia... which will set in in about 20years -_-
hmm hmm. perhaps if joined a hospital and they have staff discounts, i'd be more inclined to go for it.

im still wondering what about my binocular vision is weak thats giving me asthenopia. ive tried monocular viewing wondering if its accommodative. ive tried moving my book closer /further and realised it's more comfortable to hold it close. i thought about the difference between reading with contacts, with spectacles and uncorrected but i don't have any more problems whether im uncorrected or wearing lenses. i know i have craazy-good PFV. NFV is think is normal too. my phoria measurements jump all over the place though. it could be 6XP one moment, then 16EP the next. and im excluding accommodative problems because all those tests are pretty normal.

hmmmm after typing all that im going to conclude that my eyes like to turn in too much and that easily decompensates into an ET, causing diplopia when im tired.
it's odd - i thought myopes tend to be more exo than eso?

im also curious to know why i cant keep my eyes open outdoors in the day. i don't think the size of my pupils are the reason, because i can take >5minutes of 78D without discomfort. speaking of 78D, the other day there was a very light-sensitive woman who claimed the bright light during 78D was making her dizzy because she was anaemic and the doctor was all no no the light has nothing to do with your light-headedness. haha!

thursday we had an AMD lecture. we mustve sat through at least 5 lectures on AMD, but this was the first one where the doctor mentioned CNV! (great timing too, we saw a px with occult CNV last week)
gosh how did everyone just skip the CNV part when covering AMD? and this doctor was the only one to mention focal RPE atrophy too! saw that in clinic too, last week, in a non-AMD px. didnt know what those little bright dots were til james explained.

i need to see more patients with AMD!
i am sadded ive forgotten how the pxs' fundi looked like.

2010-07-22T22:16:00.002+08:00

great. no school tmr!
im so silly. i thought i had another packet of squid ink when i'd already used it last week. pffft.

there's a ton of work to be done and so little time!
low vision, binocular vision and pharmacology are the most pressing!

for ppl like me who use the alarm function and have our phones next to our pillow

2010-07-20T21:20:00.006+08:00

last night i woke to when.can.i.meet.you.again at 1:10am.
lack of spacings and improper use of fullstops aside, it was a totally selfish text msg sent at a totally selfish timing of 1am.
(that msg took 2seconds of my night. one glance at it - noted that there werent words like 'dying', or 'help' or 'school' or 'clinic', the weird punctuation, vaguely aware that it was early morning and some idiot has texted me something stupid, and went back to sleep)

i really hate it when ppl text me in the middle of the night.

there's no way in hell i'd still be awake at 3am unless it's the holidays. it is VERY UNLIKELY that i'll be awake at 1am when it isnt the school holidays. it is almost impossible that i'll be awake at midnight if i had clinic that day.
i must either be really tired, or, if im not, it mustve taken a long time for me to fall asleep. either way i do not want to wake up before the alarm. waking me in the wee hours of morning to send me an UN-URGENT means u secretly hate me and want me to hate you back.

everytime someone does something stupid like that i strangle them in my head. i forgive them if they acknowledge and apologise for breaking text messaging etiquette though. heck, i'll even be empathetic and forgive someone if they saw something really exciting and couldnt keep it to themselves and had to share the good news. a msg like 'OMG I JUST SAW RYUTARO AT (insert location)' is totally acceptable. i probably won't reply immediately (unless we're talking about ryutaro) but at least i won't feel like killing you.

seriously man. why cant ppl just wait??????? doesnt anyone know better than to text at that time? if it were urgent, all the more u shldnt text! u shld call! any message that isnt urgent enough to warrant an IMMEDIATE phoneCALL should be sent as a text msg/call WHEN THE SUN RISES.

2010-07-18T22:24:00.004+08:00

omg this is post number 2001! i should start a new blog and archive this.

tonight, i am really appreciating the awesomeness of my existence. hahahah i don't recall the last time i was this narcissistic. wait did i spell that right?
i don't really have anything to blog
im not exactly prepared for tmr's presentation :/ oh well.

perhaps im just really happy i bought 2 pillows from ikea. i like those pillows. the right amount of firm and the right amount of er, contour. right. recently ive taken to sleeping facedown and drooling on my pillow. haha! man it feels good.

2010-07-17T21:59:00.005+08:00

i sleep a lot but i still wake up tired. the latest dream i had was me riding a bicycle (with super suspensions!) trying to get away from someone, while trying to recall what conditions can present with leukocoria
WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

i managed cataract, RD, ROP, retinoblastoma, persistant primary hyperplastic vitreous

(in real life)
and on the train home i was wondering what causes weak zonules that can lead to subluxation.
but all i could think of was marfan's.

it seems the other answer i was looking for was pseudoexfoliation.

right now, im trying to recall cataract extraction under what conditions are categorised as 'complicated'. PXF, something about endothelial dystrophy/decompensation? (fuch's?), hmmmmmmmmmmm

i shld also find out what conditions can cause RAPD

2010-07-16T19:06:00.002+08:00

a very nice man in his 60s with occult CNV. tried to negotiate for more medication from the doctor but failed. haha! he let me look at his eyes twice so i could get a good view of RPE mottling and atrophy! -happy-

finally the weekend!

oh internet you are back! we missed you!

2010-07-13T22:50:00.002+08:00

ah. so good to have the internet back.

had a short session at the hospital this morning, came back in the afternoon for a nap, then went back to dover for class at 5pm. spent 4 hours travelling today. pfft. why is everything so far from home!!??!?

tuesdays at the hospital are fun!

2010-07-08T21:30:00.004+08:00

finally! a decent paper puncher and stapler! really, the small ones are useless. waste of money. can't even staple 10pcs of paper together properly. hole puncher isnt even sharp enough to cut through one sheet of paper. piece of shit.

the best stationery are the type u nick from the office. those are sure to last. even pens. the best ones are free. they will last till the last drop of ink even if you drop them a million times. no point spending $5 on a pen that stops working the first time it falls out of my hands.

well. i just did another FYP subject work and am $20 richer in half an hour. i love FYPs. i'd join drug trials too but no one seems to need me. at least, i didnt hear of any. perhaps there are a few on the noticeboards..

yes, i am one of those people who joins drug trials for money. not just any trial of course. haha!

not good at all

2010-07-07T22:51:00.003+08:00

i think im falling sick. running nose the whole day. now my throat feels itchy and sore. ugh.
i don't know how this can happen! ive been eating so many fruits! a punnet of strawberries a day! overdose, perhaps?
hahahahaha
sleep used to be good man. now i just wake up too many times in the middle of the night. or my backache keeps me up. or i dream of something strange and wake up tired.
this sucks.

hm what did i want to blog about? cant quite recall.

2010-07-06T11:32:00.006+08:00

gosh this is so annoying! damn floater in my right eye is just 4cm from my visual axis at a distance of 45cm!! annoyinggggggggggggggggg!!!! why why why why cant it be further away? especially since im so easily distracted i think 15% of my attention is on the stupid floater everytime it runs across the page! :@ :@ i wish my vitreous was perfect.

i just watched an episode of a rather lame zombie anime. too many panty shots, corny dialogue, boring story, and an insufferable female character. 1 episode and i wish they'd kill her off already.

oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i know sometimes i speak in a singsong manner. other times i speak in a monotone. i don't know why proper intonation and pitch don't really bother me anymore. i think a large part of it is because of the doctors. doctors and their mandarin. hahahah! sometimes i intentionally speak/write in broken english too. how strange! but i am trying to improve my mandarin (at least my vocabulary). i can't be lousy at both english and mandarin - that would just make me a bit of an idiot, wouldnt it?

there used to be a little english man living in my head. the narrator in my head. i wonder where he went. now it's just me :(

sweeeet.

2010-07-05T00:22:00.002+08:00

the day didnt start well because a stupid moth interrupted my morning bath. then a freaking cockroach appeared out of nowhere. and then a wasp was buzzing around the door so i didnt dare enter.
too many insects in a day man.

but now i have 7 punnets of strawberries in the fridge woohoo!!
a punnet a day! woohoo!

heheheeehheee

a new pillow from ikea! yayyyyyyyyy!!
2 grapefruit for $1.15! !!

and sotong for my squid ink pasta!! cant wait !!

Yojou han shinwa taikei

2010-07-03T23:26:00.005+08:00

youjou-han shinwa taikei is an anime. i just finished the last episode. it's the one with super fast dialogue (really, the voice actor must have set some kind of record for talking so fast) i wonder why he doesnt end up biting his own tongue. perhaps he did on occasion..

episode 11 was cool! it tied up the previous 10 episodes and everything.
i was wondering why the ending was the opening in this episode. and was pleasantly surprised when the episode ended with the opening by AKFG! hahahahah i must say the last episode was my fav of the lot.
i can't say i understand the show completely - i'll need to read some kind of synopsis- but im really pleased with this ending.
an enjoyable anime with interesting animation (technique). story seems like there's more to it than meets the eye, which is just the way i like it :D

makes me want to try that neko ramen too.

2010-07-03T14:17:00.002+08:00

went jogging last night. so refreshing to jog in a light drizzle. after half a day of rain the path was full of silt and drowning earthworms. gross
when it doesnt rain, the path is full of snails.
when it rains, i have to watch out for earthworms.

i didnt get muscle ache after all that jogging! well, it wasnt much, but my legs were pretty jellyish after that. backache is back though. and jogging gives me a headache.
pffft.

the 3 ulcers on my lip have coalesced into this disgusting lesion that looks like i have some horrible viral infection. (of course i don't)

isnt it amazing that even though the mouth is so full of bacteria, ulcers do not become festering lesions oozing pus after a few days? while any other cut of similar severity elsewhere on the body would be looking mighty gross now?

i think my body is underproducing adrenal steroids, because i have an oversensitive immune system, i have exaggerated inflammatory responses and i scar so easily. shitty body. and i have lousy metabolism! what the hellllllll?

ive been shopping a lot. online only of course, (95$ on gmarket, which was very reasonable considering i bought 4 pieces of clothing) because i rarely find anything i like in shops. and i still want to get stuff from ASOS and f21!

2010-07-01T23:52:00.003+08:00

tch. why do my half hour naps in the mid-afternoon always end up becoming 3 hr naps till 730?
now im not sleepy enough to turn in.
pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

ooh i just noticed i clench my jaw a lot (usually when im sitting here) and it is probably the cause of many of my tension headaches. hah. it isnt just bad posture from using my laptop so long!
right now i am so tired of that tight feeling i wish i could remove my jaw -_-

nowwwwwwwww

2010-07-01T06:35:00.003+08:00

my gmarket stuff arrived in singapore just over an hour ago wheeeeeeee
cmon deliver it to me noooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

clinic was fun. 6 patients! glaucoma and AMD. old people. i need to learn more dialect phrases!

ouchie

2010-06-30T21:28:00.003+08:00

i have a cluster of 4 little ulcers on my lower lip. it is a cruel cycle.
lips too dry -> cracks -> swells -> increased frequency of biting lip accidently while chewing -> multiply by 4. yes i bit my lip accidently on 4 different occasions -> cluster of 4 ulcers + 3 little 'blot haemorrhages' on my lower lip, which is still a little swollen (no surprise there)

oh it hurts so much to drink anything warm. hai.
i wish i could put a band-aid on my lip. :(

it was sunny today. yucky.

2010-06-29T23:28:00.005+08:00

ah. full day at the hospital tmr.

dad bought a new modem. the one that can support 2x the old speed. is it really 2x faster? who knows? so many things affect whether i can stream a video smoothly.

what it hasnt fixed though, is how i get disconnected now and then. or how msn messenger remains connected but internet explorer cant load shit.

i feel people have lost their sense of responsibility. responsibility and discipline. it's a sad sad thing.

im expecting my gmarket parcel to arrive next week! i think to hope it will arrive by friday is being too optimistic. excited!

i need a new wallet. and a black bag. considering working part time after the semester is finished. need money desperately. need money for holiday!!

joining various studies to get some moneyyyyyyy hahahahaaha wish i cld join something with higher $ incentive!

ah/ just remembered why i can't sleep just yet.
waiting for the focaccia to bake. half hour more! few-hours-old focaccia for breakfast! yummyyyyyyyy

oh whoopee

2010-06-27T23:34:00.012+08:00

this year i am totally uninterested in the world cup.
my neighbour one floor down keeps cheering a split second earlier than the rest of the block. i think it is really weird. i think my neighbour is crazy.

i need to lose weight. i really do. i am afraid to step on the scales. i wince at my reflection (except at home, become my mirror is kind and warps me thin).
hai.

am i the only one who thinks the show Glee is super gay? i think the lead girl is overdramatic when she lip syncs, and the other guy is just gay. ok. i'll be kind. he doesnt look gay, but when he starts 'singing' he is very gay. no wait. i extend that to the rest of the cast as well. anyone who starts lip syncing in a melodramatic fashion is gay!
did i mention that show is gay?
sheesh.

*
well it seems the match between england and germany was great. too bad i missed it. if i had to support a team, it wldve been germany. and not because they won la. pffft. but this year im not too interested in the world cup. im more miffed - in fact i am SUPER miffed - that i missed the lunar eclipse on saturday (the type where you don't have to worry about blinding yourself). i was so excited about it on friday night. promptly forgot about it 5 minutes later. whats worse, i couldnt find my specs and left the house with 6/36 vision. so much for appreciating the eclipse. it probably wasnt too spectacular..but still! T_T

will i be able to see the one next month?

2010-06-26T22:50:00.005+08:00

ate so much. school vacation = overeat. sadded. going to start fasting when school starts on monday. :(

mum says i talk to much. fidget too much. i am 100% not the type of daughter she expects me to be. can't say i blame her for saying something like that, because sometimes i say pretty mean things to her. it is a complicated thing, but to put things simply, it is because she is really strange and i am really impatient. i will try to be less scathing.
talk too much. fidget too much. doesnt wear skirts. 100% not girly.
i think she expects girls to be sweet, demure, quiet, still. of course, a girl shouldnt have a problem with wearing skirts. or floral prints. or prints in general. hm.

tch. i wish she'd give up on me ever becoming someone even close to that. the day i don't talk or fidget so much is the day i am depressed. and why would i want to feel like life is absolutely meaningless?! and emo the whole day, wondering why i should bother to continue living if i was never going amount to anything? that the future held nothing? nothing to look forward to. nothing to even hope for?
that isnt living.

i have been thinking a little bit about religion.
people who have ever been depressed/gone through a tough phase in life and found solace/salvation in god like to say god saved them. god helped them through it. through the evils and whatnot. yea yea. ok. (bearing in mind that i am an anti-theist. is that possible? .. lets not get technical) i just nod and smile politely and feel happy for them. and i do sincerely feel glad for them that they crawled out of a shithole in life, but i cant help but scoff at those who readily attribute this 'feat' to some higher/divine power. im not here to argue about the existence of god. i prefer to think it was all psychological. people need to give this source of strength a body in order to relate to it. so they came up with a humanoid figure and put him on an altar. alternatively, the god they believe is really the power of self. i am always in awe of the power of the mind. i do believe that if your mind tells you that something is so, then you will accept it, even if the idea is absolutely ridiculous.

this brings me to the next enigma - the soul
carbon, water, bunch of other elements/compounds like iron make up the human body.
elements build molecules. these build cells.
cells make up tissues/organs.
they say the soul of an animal is in the brain. to me, the brain is like a lump of fat with electrical signals coursing through it. how does a lump of fat with electricity in it think? how does it make decisions? it isnt through mathematical equations / probability like a computer. how does it feel?
how does it become life?

well no point thinking too much
i have digressed anyway.

so yes. god is just a bunch of people's active imagination. not necessarily a bad thing unless the people who thought it up were really deviant, then we can expect really strange teachings.

*

sleepy. need to study. unfortunately i have no idea what are the contraindications for the antiglaucoma drugs.

more difficult to grasp than physics.

2010-06-25T22:41:00.004+08:00

i hate dramasss hate hate hate hate hate
i have to turn up the music just to drown out the stupid tv. with the stupid drama. why do people like to watch drama? isnt everyone complaining about how hard life is? why expose yourself to drama? stupid dramas. whose life is so full of drama anyway?

2-week break is almost over. dammmmit.
still studying for pharmacology. i know very soon i will be at saturation, and start mixing up facts.

this afternoon i watched an especially good episode of Scrubs. ah.

2010-06-17T01:10:00.002+08:00

sian sian. mind is working overtime on rubbish again. so annoying.
the brain's capacity to retain memories is amazing.

at least
this week's episode of arakawa was good! i like sister in a bear suit, the abuse of 'aura of authority', stella's KO move on mistaken-Rik, and Rik's Dad's aversion to Takai. lol!

if it could like this every day

2010-06-16T17:46:00.004+08:00

oh im so glad!
the weather is lovely today!
overcast skies, cool wind, raining half the day. temperature in the mid20s.
just lovely!!

5 degrees cooler and it will be perfect! peerrrrrfect!!!!!!

im mighty confused

2010-06-14T23:28:00.003+08:00

tch. i was planning to head down to the library tomorrow but once again, ive picked the wrong day cuz the library will be closed. blooody hell. bloooooooody hell!!!!
why do i always have such lousy timing? whatever it is, i just miss the opportune moment.

*

well ive just submitted my low vision quiz i hope i did not mess up too badly.

*

"I need to go to the library and print those stupid things"
i wonder if i talked to myself (out loud) enough, could i pronounce words better?

saddddddddddddddddddddd

2010-06-06T23:25:00.003+08:00

T_T saddedddddd i just realised i won't be having observation sessions with my favorite doctor anymore cuz my last two sessions are with the optoms and at the OT!

retards everywhere

2010-06-06T21:55:00.004+08:00

ahhhhhh i feel almost emo because of schoolwork. i think.
100% confused. 100% falling behind.

well the NEA's finally catching litterbugs and fining them! yay! call me uptight but i hate litterbugs. no trashcan so what? that's not even an excuse! hold on to it till you see one! makes me wonder what on earth parents are teaching their children! mei you jiao yang, u know? does everyone have a domestic helper now? cant clean up after yourself? RETARDS!

saw another example of lousy parenting at the supermarket. mum so busy chiding the child she didnt even notice that she's bumped into a frail old man behind her, causing him to drop his umbrella. retarded dad who should have seen it didnt help the old man pick it up. retards, right?
what the hell? even if u had tunnel vision u wld be able to hear the umbrella drop! i can only keep repeating the words 'retard' in my head. the man mustve been in his 80s! retard. retard!

*

ive been having bloody dreams. hmmmmmmmmmmm unpleasant. first dream, my ears kept popping. very uncomfortable. it was like there was something between my ears and suddenly it migrated to my sinuses. it was supposed to be blood! wth? last i remember i had a huge clot righttttt at the back of my throat. urgh.

the other dream involved me stabbing the shit out of someone i didnt know. there wasnt a lot of blood. in fact there was a surprising lack of blood. i was wondering why won't this guy die!?!?!?! all was done in self defence of course.
still quite disturbing.

*

i checked my blackboard quizzes and realised they only used the grades from the first-attempt. damn.

here comes a late-night rant

2010-06-06T01:01:00.004+08:00

poof. it's so annoying that i cant get a proper night's sleep!
i wake up too many times! frustrating!!

hai.

i have one sleeping pill im saving for dunnowhatoccasion.

i need to invest in a proper under-eye concealer :(

i want to sleep through the night pffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
i don't want to wake up at 130pm. i don't want to sleep at 2am. i want to wake up and feel rested. god sleep is such a slippery fella.

sometimes i think my levator's not working very well. it's like my lids are 20% lower than they should be. it's like my eyes are only half open (the math doesnt add up, i know). i wonder what an eyelid surgery could do for me. or botox. only wondering.

oh yea. i still love my Kate purchases! wonderful foundation and eyebrow pencil!

KATE

2010-05-29T23:11:00.009+08:00

we went to JB yesterday. there stuff to like and stuff to dislike there. i like the cheap mangosteens and rambutans and tomatoes and snacks. i like being able to see the wide open sky. most of all I love going to watson's in msia. CHEAP U KNOW CHEAPPP CHEAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP not to mention they have KANEBO KATE!! KATE KATE KATE!!!!!!!

singapore only has MM. pfft.

so i spent RM90 on Kate's new liquid foundation (the tall skinny one) and eyebrow pencil.
seeing the big 9-0 scared me a little, but if u did the math, thats under SGD39.
damn foundation is expensive. RM66! and doesnt look like a lot of product. but oh well.
if i had to complain, i'd have to complain about the LACK OF STOCK. eh wth? there was only 1 shade (OC-D) and maybe 4 bottles of it too! i took a chance with OChre-D.
my favorite kate pressed powder was OOS too :( why why why why why? this tiny compact didnt last me 6months! too little product! grr!
oh but i love that kate eyebrow pencils come in so many shades. the skinfood brown im using is kinda dark. and recently it's gotten kinda soft and crayon-y so im getting pretty thick lines, which is super annoying.
i bought kate's in br3 or sth. yippee. and i can pretty much colour it on without worry. only gripe is it doesnt come with one of those brushes at the other end. tch. have to keep the skinfood one then

next purchase will be kate's liquid rouge! now i cant wait to finish the etude house lipgloss weining bought for me! :D

come to think of it ive spent a lot of money ah. i have 2 tubes of lavshuca liquid fdtn, both too light. lavshuca is really creamy. not too bad actually.
the worst is still that whatsitcalled ... SANA maiko han foundation. it smells strange. not bad, just strange. something i can get over. it is pretty watery in consistency. it couldnt stand up to the humidity and just melted off. horrible staying power. a real let down.

2010-05-29T17:56:00.003+08:00

damn my bank balance keeps falling.

i don't know what happened to my windows live messenger. it is gone. deleted. it decided to disappear sometime this afternoon. i missed it really soon because even though less than 5 contacts chat with me on a 'regular' basis, messenger has become like a boyfriend to me -- the one uve had for years and no longer love but cant bear to dump
..
not that i'd know how it really feels.

oh well. messenger was probably stolen by a young new thing Windows Update introduced. otherwise it was kidnapped by some rogue program that found its way in because Norton abandoned us years ago.

ugh

2010-05-27T21:58:00.003+08:00

nausea. nausea.
not having regular meals is bad.

a chicken patty sandwich at 6am. cuppucino at 11. cookie at 1230. tea at 3pm.
when i woke from my nap at 5pm i was nauseated and feeling so bleh i didnt even want to eat. but i had salmon porridge anyway
and i still feel like puking.

these days i feel like my tongue is gagging me.

i just wasted 2 days

2010-05-23T21:37:00.005+08:00

i love weekends. but i cant help feeling like im wasting time if i don't do things like assignments or reading and stuff.
school has sucked the fun out of slacking.

well i just finished another episode of The Pacific. was it episode 9?
i love war shows, don't you?

**

it's like MAGIC! it IS magic! it's magic how i can be bored as hell for 5 hours.
google 'arimura ryutaro' and start smiling after 5 seconds.
magic, i tell u.

well i can feel my back ache. it's back. argh. i was miraculously free of pain for one week but it crept back! evil. there iz evil goblinz doing fings to meh back!

internet, anime, ezlink, headphones+music. taking any of these away makes me dysfunctional

2010-05-22T21:43:00.008+08:00

i am just wasting time now
just set a new record on fb's word spasm. i am such a geek. 75000! ive been aiming for that for ever! had Muse's Undisclosed Desires on loop. it mustve played 4 times before i game over'd! aye i must thank Muse. so i could come out with words like freak with 5 seconds on the timer.

i was searching for stars in the afternoon. it occurred to me that clouds actually look as if the sky is splitting. well-demarcated clouds make it look like that anyway. it reminded me of Bleach - u know, when the sky splits and monsters come out..

anyway i had the worst roti prata ive ever had in my life this morning. it was salty!

epic fail!

the curry was salty! EPIC FAIL! even frozen ones from the supermarket were better! and that's saying a lot! gosh i didnt know anyone could go wrong with roti prata!

eeeeeeeeya i changed blogskin finally! i dunno why i find cats so funny. so are cats>dogs? well, both animals are so idiotic at times i cant help but like both. dogs make better pets tho.

2010-05-21T23:54:00.002+08:00

gosh i think im a glutton for punishment

couldve taken the easy way out but i chose the difficult road. i must be an idiot.

im an idiot with aspirations. these daydreams are hard to materialise.
the harder the struggle, the sweeter the success. or something like that.

even when i reach the finish line, there's still the walk home.
i hope i have enough energy to make it to finish. the walk home can wait.

while on the train home...

2010-05-20T23:15:00.003+08:00

around 3pm
i was looking at the cumulus clouds hanging in the bright sky thinking

'ay clouds. i think they look prettier at night

yup, clouds are still in the sky at night. just as stars are still there in the day.
i think clouds are more beautiful when illuminated by a flash of lightning. the fleeting view makes them more precious and so much more beautiful.

having said all that in my head my inner voice went on,

tch. how can i like nighttime clouds more than daytime clouds? if the same cloud were there i should like it just as much! regardless of the time of day! if i like nighttime clouds more than daytime clouds it means im taking daytime clouds for granted!

(because, as i mentioned, clouds are clouds, be it day or night)

and then i felt the tiniest bit of pity and disappointment for taking daytime clouds for granted.
i have been superficial -- a very human shortcoming.

(!?!?!?!!)

time

2010-05-16T23:11:00.003+08:00

it took me a whole night to read this 12 page article!! granted, i was very distracted by facebook and anime. however, this is the second time im reading it so i should be able to grasp it faster, right?
4 more articles to read! the 2 toughest ones ive yet to print! so difficult, i need to underline stuff and re-read things 3 times before they make sense!

it's gonna be a long day tmr! ive got it all planned out
hop on the train early, like 715am, to get a seat. read as much as i can in 40 minutes and pray i don't fall asleep. reach the library early to print more stuff to read before tutorial starts at 9! look for fyp lecturer at the end of school, then stay back some more to get some homework done
im hoping since i got so much sleep this weekend, i'll be able to last the day!

im amazed my classmates can afford to work part time! envious too, cuz it would be nice to buy more clothes without feeling bad. oh well.

upset

2010-05-15T10:40:00.005+08:00

im very upset. very very very upset. lost my ezlink card @#$%^$%&%&$@^@!!!!!!
there goes concession. still had 2 weeks to go. &#&#(*&^%&($$$^*()!!

bloody hell. public transport is so expensive. ok. relatively cheap compared to other countries, BUT STILL EXPENSIVE!!! especially to a jobless full time student!!!!! #$%%&^&*^^$!! i dunno why fares are so expensive even when there are so many passengers!!

it is especially upsetting because for the past week ive had a nagging feeling that i might lose my card, so it's been weighing on my mind! i made it a point to check that i havent dropped it! AND NOW IT IS GONE KNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW THE HELL DID I MANAGE TO LOSE IT IF IVE BEEN CAREFUL????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and then my stupid singtel bill. should have stuck with starhub!

dilated eyes and new equipment make all the difference

2010-05-12T21:39:00.004+08:00

it's wednesday night. after a 9-5 day at the hospital im still alive! only saw 4 patients today though. but im really enjoying the clinical sessions! :B (<-- thats supposed to be a nerdy grin.)
i prefer this to wccc sessions because uhhhhhhh well we are more spoonfed la. there's no diagnosis to make since theyre all follow-up appointments!

fingers crossed!

2010-05-09T23:27:00.003+08:00

television is evil. i parked myself in front of the tv the whole day today. one show after another.
at least i learnt something
the trick to getting out of the TV's trap is to switch it off when the credits roll. don't press the right arrow on the remote and see what's next!!!!!!!

i feel so fat now.

this month's national geographic magazine has an article titled The Science of Sleep. i thought it was quite funny.

Some insomniacs suffer from restless legs syndrome...or periodic limb movement disorder...Narcoleptics often have difficulty both staying asleep and staying awake. Then there are people who can't sleep because of depression, and people who are depressed because they can't sleep.

im worried about the coming week.

monday: 10 - 4
tuesday: 9 - 6
wednesday: 9-5
thursday: 8 - 5
friday: 9-12

it doesnt look like a lot, but considering i need to get up 3 hours earlier for school and im already pretty wiped out after a 5-hr day (technically closer to 9 hrs by the time i get home) especially clinic days, which drain me faster than canals drain monsoon rains, i find myself wishing i could give myself adrenaline jabs.

"Kagerō Usui"

2010-05-09T00:35:00.008+08:00

this is just a post of random thoughts im thinking of now because im upset.

if u want something done, do it yourself.

live like Ichinomiya Kou - without owing anyone anything.

upsettt upsetttttttttt im quite upsettttttt !!!!! :@

people are so unreliable!!!!!

pffft. anyway
so many blogshops/girls selling clothes online. i wonder why ppl type things like 'pls help me clear my wardrobe!!' or 'pls fund me!!!' or 'bank balance depleting!!'

helloooo...? i don't even know u! why on earth would i be inclined to help? why do u think i will feel the slightest bit of pity for u for overspending/buying things you don't need? why do i care if ur closet is bursting or if uve got no money to buy more clothes? sheesh. u brought it on yourself! blame it on your lack of money management skills! spoilt, impulsive princesses.

crazy. people are just crazy. 30 yr old delinquents still leeching off their mums. these people should just kill themselves. i honestly believe that -i don't care if ppl say im heartless (mum says i am. she says im a heartless student too engrossed in books and the scientific method to care about people)-

anyway

useless people should either turn over a new leaf or just roll over and die.

by 'useless' i mean people who dont try. they dont try to get a job. they dont try to work hard. perfectly healthy (physically and mentally) individuals who are content to leech off others just because it is easy. people who keep complaining but don't take action to make things happen. these people need to be slapped. these people fail at being humans.

people with no ambition are another sad lot. i won't say they should die because they are just pitiful. life is meaningless without ambition. i hope ambition-less people find something to work/look towards, because they'd probably slip into depression soon if nothing changes. and there are so many things one can do if one tries..(at least, thats what i want to think)

noooooooo

2010-05-07T23:55:00.002+08:00

my english has de-proved!! i find myself wanting to say something, but im no longer sure if im using the right expression!! this is a very conscious awareness - it's been bugging me for a few months now.
nooooooooooooooo!!
when i read english books, i would hear an English man's voice. a narrator. English accent.
that man is gone now.
replaced by a slightly more american sounding woman!! but not the right accent either!
noooooooooooo!!!!!!!
i think it is because i only listen to japanese anime and watch american tv shows on cable.
T_T

2010-05-07T20:05:00.003+08:00

damn. mosquito again. got me 5 times in 5 minutes. my poor legs.
exactly what good does this insect do anyway? even annoying ants are vital for the ecosystem.
i cant think of anything beneficial these god forsaken freaks do, except feed other water-dwelling babies when they are still wriggling larvae.
they shld just remain larvae forever. why grow wings!?!

here out of habit

2010-05-03T23:47:00.002+08:00

daaaaaaaaamn i couldnt get a good night's rest last night because of the backache.

mondays/ tuesdays arent that bad because new subs are uploaded around this time!! :D:D:D

hakuouki, arakawa, bleach, naruto, fullmetal and a bunch more awesome anime!

2010-04-30T22:34:00.000+08:00

Blogging from bed because of a stupid migraine. moving makes my head pound and sitting makes me nauseous. What a wasted day.

er, what..??

2010-04-26T21:39:00.002+08:00

bleh. i am so confused. im reading a paper thats related to a potential FYP topic, but i might as well be reading a chinese report, because i can't understand it!
all ive got, after 7 pages, is a fuzzy idea of what the whole experiment is about, which is very much the level of understanding i get from reading anything printed in chinese.

i don't know how i can recognise chinese words without knowing what the hell they mean. i don't know how i can answer comprehension questions when i skip every other word. i consider it a miracle i got a B for chinese.

i am quite sad that i can't read a chinese food label too. i suppose death by poisioning is a possibility for me.

anime!!!!

2010-04-25T20:05:00.006+08:00

finally caught up on anime!
arakawa under the bridge is super cool. the characters are so ridiculous i love them! it reminds me of the zetsubou sensei series
it would be so fun to dress up as the kappa/chief!
see kappa in the background? the second half of episode 1 where he debuts is epic!!

episode 3 ( i think) has angry star-headed man. he's got the funniest facial expressions!

can't wait for new episodes!

:)

2010-04-21T23:05:00.008+08:00

im rather pleased because my favourite doctor-with-the-most-wonderful-way-of-speaking let us use 78D today. hahaha he has the most calming voice ever. i think it's because he sorta mumbles a lot.. and there's this laid-back feeling about him :S i suppose the fact that he kinda looks like a panda helps. just a teeny bit of resemblance. and i don't mean it in a disrespectful way or anything.. how can u bully a panda, man? (it's the same as taking candy from a child!)

other than that i don't have much to say, except I'm actually kinda enjoying this geekiness.
however i don't quite appreciate feeling like there's so much to learn and so little time! it is impossible to squeeze everything into my head in one year. i really wish there was a USB port or bluetooth or sth in my head so i could upload all this into my head and retain it.

did u know 'retain' has the same letters as 'retina'? i just noticed cuz i made a typo. hahahaha

2010-04-17T23:23:00.005+08:00

caught a cold.

cant believe sunday's the last day of the holidays!
i can't believe i put so many things off for so long! like fixing my ophthalmoscope, buying clinic wear and CLEANING MY ROOM!!!!!!!
gosh good thing i don't have 4 straight days of clinic till May!

and i need to get maybe 2 pairs of jeans! all of them have faded (yuckss. not to mention they are kinda short too) and my fav black ones (cuz it was the darkest black) got bleached :( stupid detergent.
forever21 needs to make jeans with longer inseams!!!!!!! i really think whoever's manufacturing the clothes are stingy with fabric. looking at their blazers/jackets, so many of them are cropped or just plain short (by short i mean <24inches long)!! SHIT!! unless uve got a model's figure, cropped jackets make you look 5 kgs fatter.

why do we always have 7 modules per semester???

2010-04-16T23:40:00.011+08:00

studied the clinic schedule. studied the new semester's timetable.

me is scared. clinic is scary. on last count, 28 sessions! :S
there are some diseases that just refuse to stay in my head!
some weeks theres only one clinical session. some weeks there's 4! :( :(
im feeling stressed out. need to get my ophthalmoscope fixed. need to get used to using 90D! and whatever happened to my ret skills???? damn scissor reflex!!

even non-clinic days are scary. the timetable just looks scary.

it seems like so many things squeezed into one semester! damn YOG!
so many. so confusing. so dead.

on a totally different topic, i noticed the recommended videos on the annoying MSN ad space are quite lame. oh wait.. the videos have always been pretty lame. local tv programmes, interviews with local celebrities ... most of them involve silly stuff like on-screen kisses, and their private lives.

what? does anyone care?

local tv has also tried to increase popularity of shows with sex appeal. sigh. i only have 2 words : new lows.

is that the best they can do?
we need more programmes that get us thinking. we need tv with more content!

(we also need a way to make teenagers grow up because stupid people piss me off.

yes i am more cross than usual of late. i believe i will develop immunity to stupid people in a few more days)

bleah. i hate my crappy mood.

2010-04-12T23:53:00.006+08:00

damn, it is so difficult not to burn bridges. it is troublesome to build bridges.

being outspoken is to risk offending someone. keeping quiet is to risk having people trample all over you. the worst thing is, it isnt easy to know if someone is offended! and so much of it has got to do with culture. like how i find every other thing an excited chinese (especially aunties) says offensive (it's more to do with how they talk and not so much what they say). hmmmmmmm is it just me? does anyone else feel slightly offended when they speak loudly and act like know-it-alls? isnt it universal? it's the aggressiveness i can't stand! why cant people speak gentler? or phrase things nicely? or pick the right words? so i am a little sensitive

argh. i just don't get aunties! hmmmm maybe it is the language! maybe the way they speak mandarin , or the way mandarin is meant to be spoken in... it just comes off as aggressive? like how some middle eastern-ers always sound like theyre really upset but thats just the way they talk? hmmmmmmmmm

gosh. especially with mandarin! my mandarin is bad enough. couple that with a lack of understanding of this 'culture' = misunderstandings?
i dont know how to react because i cant tell if it is friendly or hostile! so i smile or give an empty 'haha'. and then people think im weird behaving like that!! why are you smiling/laughing? is this funny? this isnt funny! why are u laughing?!
sheeeeesh. it really annoys me when ppl think im crazy! get off your high horse and take a look at yourself! realise someone else probably thinks u're straight off your rocker too! why does everyone take themselves as the definition of normal and judge everyone else with those standards? i want to slap dumbshits like them!

(i know... in that way i am quite the dictator. i have high standards and i am cruel to those that fall short! at times i think stupid people should just be shipped off to some isolated island where they can be stupid to each other. at times i think all teenagers should be given prozac - it will make life bearable, and it will make everyone around them feel much better too, because emo-ness is contagious. and i speak from experience k?

yup. i can never be a politician. it probably wouldnt be a democracy under me HAHAHAHAHA.
i'll try to be more forgiving.)

daaaaaaaaaaaaamn. the more i think of it, the more i feel it all boils down to one thing: human beings are really difficult to communicate with!

the other thing i just HATE with people who think they know a lot - their minds are made up! they refuse to listen to what you have to say. sometimes they are totally wrong, but years of experience have engraved in their heads that they are right! oh my god people! open your eyes! eat some humble pie! will it kill you to consider? instead of dismissing new information as rubbish that cant beat your years of experience! why have people become so narrow? how can there be improvement if u are so stubborn?? learning cannot end!!!!!!!!!!!

it never really occurred to me that so many traits piss me off! ohkay... ive mostly only interacted with the same group of people all this time. meeting so many new people has been an eye opener.
some impress me. some depress me.

lately i just call them stupid people.

it isnt your qualifications, years of experience, or rank. u are stupid.
normally un-stupid people can become stupid too. usually happens when they are angry.

it's so difficult to be human, isnt it?

i only exercise at night because i will go up in smoke under direct sunlight.

2010-04-12T23:13:00.004+08:00

ooh. went to shoot hoops with my dad last night. the basket is much lower and larger than i remembered. and i can shoot from further distance than i expected. overall quite fun. i would like to go more often but dad's probably too tired. and it just looks sad to play alone.

cant believe school's starting next week! 6 weeks flew by! :(
im just the type of person made to laze around.

bought focaccia bread mix. it is definitely much cheaper to buy the ingredients on their own but thats SO much trouble. and store-bought ones are so stale! cant wait to try this one!

2010-04-10T23:47:00.002+08:00

im lacking vitamin C. i have caught a cold. my skin is itchy. it could either be allergens or dryness. i don't feel like crap yet. i am annoyed that i cant sign in to gmarket though.

me no likes aunties.

2010-04-05T15:00:00.004+08:00

some people are so bitchy! ok, since i am referring to a 50, 60 yr old woman, perhaps bitchy isnt the right word (i use 'bitchy' with ppl in their 20s and younger. douchebag for those in their 30s-mid40s, but i don't have an equivalent word for the elderly)
i really don't know why some people are annoyed!
we do all the work. everything is over in 5minutes! ur colleague is the one we're talking to, not YOU. YOU don't even have to listen! 5 minutes of YOUR COLLEAGUE'S time. and it isnt like anyone is busy!

5minutes!

sheesh. in the time u gave us a lecture for wasting YOUR COLLEAGUE'S time, we cldve finished everything we needed to do and left!

god, some people are so narrow minded. it's so frustrating when i have to put up with dumbshits like that! i want to argue with them (even tho i know it gets nowhere) just for fun, cuz it amuses me so. but i can't because i have to think of the company im representing. i can only nod and smile and pretend to be interested or sheepish,
but really, i don't give a shit abt what youre saying. sheesh.

i hate it when people get mad at employees who are just doing their job, especially when it isnt the employee's fault! if someone pissed you off, don't take it out on me! wtf?!